Eky's Journalism =P

New Year, New Adventure, New View =P

2012-01-03T14:41:00.002+08:00

I'm back in my workplace, Nabawan Town..it's just a small town really..anyway so far nothing much have changed here..the new school buildings are still far from done XD my house is as messy as ever :P I still haven't change the cover seat of my bike XD so what new u ask? a new year that's for sure :P also got a new Teacher Record Book earlier XD new furniture for the preschool classroom ^^ and so much more..one thing for certain I'm still the same old me >:)

Malacca..Again..

2011-12-02T14:15:00.004+08:00

last Saturday, I went back to Malacca after about 2 years since my last visit there..the reason? weeding ceremony..nah not mine but a friend of mine..well actually both of them spouses XD their wedding was held at PD but I had been staying at Malacca as it was agreed as a gathering point for me and some of my other ex-classmates..heh..the wedding was on Sunday though..here's some sneak shots of the ceremony..

holidays XD

2011-11-21T20:27:00.005+08:00

yeah..it's that time of the year again..come to think of it, it's been 2 years now that I've been working..heh..time sure flies..I barely feel any differences XD whether inside me or in my surrounding..but when I stop and think about it, there's a huge difference between now and last time..I've gained and so I have also lost..never had I thought that it would came so soon..still life never stops and by driven through works and stuffs yet another year had almost come to an end..and as I lay here and think a bit for myself, I realized..I'm me and that shall never change..so, dad..u just have to relax wherever you are now..I am still myself so that's okay..I'm doing fine even without you beside me..heh..as long as I have me, I'm good to go ^^

I wonder..

2011-11-02T16:10:00.002+08:00

what to write really..
I wonder what should I write..
I wonder how shall I write..
I wonder when I must write..
I wonder where I write..
but then I realize..
I don't have to wonder what to write..
I don't have to wonder how I shall write..
I don't have to wonder when I must write..
I don't have to wonder where I write..
after all..
I'm typing XD

Snorkeling Part II

2011-10-19T11:48:00.002+08:00

Feeding Fishes and ...

Self-finding?

"Who to call" moment XD

Killing time on the dock..

Snorkeling..

2011-10-11T12:06:00.003+08:00

our ride..

Sapi Island..

waiting hall..

ready to go..

Last weekend I went snorkeling at Sapi Island..it's one of the 3 sibling islands near Sabah..

It wasn't my first time snorkeling but it was my first time to do it in the ocean..last time it was inside a man-made salt water pool and it was great..I don't mind doing it a couple more time or as a routine for each outing next time XD still waiting for more pictures to be uploaded..till then..ciao

my wallpaper art..

2011-10-02T11:29:00.005+08:00

no I didn't draw any of these myself..they are courtesy of my online girlfriend(she's a girl and a friend so yeah XD)..she's the one who drew them or got it from a commission..looking at em reminds me of the time I use to draw myself..it's been so long since I had hold a mechanical pencil to draw like these..heh..well I was never a good drawer so I guess it's better I didn't go to far into it then..but there are times I felt the urge to pick up a pen or pencil and just draw again..mostly in a meeting without anything interest going on in the net XD

anyway I sort of compile all 3 of em together and make this one my notebook's wallpaper..pretty neat huh..heh..

My New Life..

2011-09-29T16:39:00.003+08:00

well actually I'm referring to my new notebook's battery XD yeay congratulation to myself..now I can stay online a whole lot longer than before..my old battery can only sustain itself for 20 minutes more or less..but this new one can keep me onlining(lol XD) for a good 2 hours and more ^o^ hurray for my new battery..heh..I'm thinking of getting a new notebook earlier..not that this one have any fault or anything..I just need to update myself that's all ^^

100th XD

2011-09-19T23:44:00.002+08:00

yeap..this is the 100th post here..nope..that's not my age seriously..heh..I'm a bit tired currently..I went on a trip earlier today..it was held under the district's preschools council..we went to another preschool and for a little sight seeing..I experienced fish massage for the 1st time in my life..it's kinda like those fish spa treatment but only with bigger fishes in a river..the result? my feet feels awesome XD

it's been a while XD

2011-09-10T13:45:00.003+08:00

hey I'm still here..same old-carefree-happy-go-lucky type of guy I am..hurm..minus the old part XD maybe it's just because it's me or maybe it's just them but lately, I've been seeing kids struggling to deal with matters that I hadn't face in my life..well perhaps I did, I just didn't care much about it back then..the point is, kids should just be kids..don't let problems such as boredom, love (lol, sorry can't help it XD), life?..so what if you are bored..so why should you care about love and relationship..so how is it that you are not living..I'm not saying I'm the best example okay, I'm not..the fact remains I feel free compared to them..am I the childish one around here? don't answer XD ah well..by the way, kids in my point of view are those who are younger than me so it could be you..no hard feeling kiddo ^^

no idea..

2011-07-23T11:45:00.003+08:00

like the tittle said..I have no idea what to write as of now..my life has been a smooth sailing these days..it's like there's nothing more in this life to give me a new dose of thrill and excitement..not that I'm not thankful of this peaceful time I'm having but I have a thirst for new thing to keep me entertained..perhaps I should get a new gaming console or a gaming notebook so that I can quench my deprivation for a while..these are not a definite solution after all since I tended to get bored easily and games are just as exciting as the first time..after that, it'll be a cycle of minuscule self-satisfying tries.."get a life," some would say but I'm living which means this is my life..isn't it so?

C&P XIII - 18sx??

2011-05-03T15:50:00.000+08:00

Kini, Pelajar Paling Cerdik di Malaysia telah ditemui!

Kisah ini berlaku di salah sebuah sekolah di Malaysia..Kini pelajar paling cerdik telah ditemui sebagai pengganti pelajar cerdik Amalina kita!Tahniah..teruskan bacaan anda utk menemui jawapannya:

Seorang guru, Cikgu Murni (Umur: 22) menghadapi masalah dengan salah seorang muridnya (Abu). Lalu guru ini bertanya kepada murid tersebut :

"Apa sebenarnya masalah awak, Abu?"

Lalu Abu menjawab, "Saya terlalu cerdik untuk berada di darjah 4, kakak saya menduduki UPSR dan saya lebih cerdik dari dia, maka saya seharusnya berada di tempat yang sama juga!".

Cikgu Murni dah tak tertahan. Dia bawa Abu ke pejabat pengetua. Sementara Abu menunggu di ruang tamu, Cikgu Murni terangkan keadaan tersebut kepada pengetua. Pengetua mengatakan yang dia akan berikan ujian kepada Abu dan jika Abu gagal menjawab, maka Abu harus kekal di darjah 3 dan berkelakuan baik. Abu dibawa masuk ke pejabat Pengetua dan Cikgu Murni terangkan pada Abu dan Abu bersetuju untuk ambil ujian yang akan diberikan.

Pengetua: Apa 3 x 3?
Abu: 9
Pengetua: Apa 6 x 6?
Abu: 36

Pengetua terus bertanyakan soalan2 berdasarkan tahap pencapaian murid2 UPSR dan si Abu mampu menjawab tiap soalan yang diberikan. Lalu pengetua memandang Cikgu Murni dan berkata, "Saya rasa murid ini sepatutnya berada di darjah 6", Lalu Cikgu Murni berkata pada pengetua, "Saya ada soalan saya sendiri, boleh tak saya ajukan pada Abu?". Pengetua dan Abu bersetuju.

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang lembu ada 4 di badan, tapi saya cuma ada dua?

Abu: (berfikir) Kaki

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang ada di dalam seluar kamu tapi tidak pada seluar saya?

Abu: Saku

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang bermula dengan huruf "K" akhir dengan "A", ianya berbulu, berbentuk oval, nyaman dan mengandungi lapisan nipis keputihan?

Abu: Kelapa

Cikgu Murni: Apakah yang masuk keras dan berwarna "pink", bila keluar lembik dan melekit?

Mata Pengetua terbuka luas dan sebelum sempat dia menahan, si Abu terus menjawab.

Abu: Gula-gula getah (Bubblegum)

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang mereka lakukan, lelaki secara berdiri, wanita secara duduk dan anjing secara tiga kaki?

Mata Pengetua sekali lagi terbuka sangat2 luas dan sebelum dia sempat hendak menahan si Abu terus menjawab.

Abu: Bersalaman

Cikgu Murni: Baik, sekarang saya akan ajukan soalan berbentuk siapakah saya, okay?

Abu: Baik Cikgu

Cikgu Murni: Awak memasukkan batang kedalam saya. Awak ikat saya untuk saya berdiri. Saya kebasahan sebelum awak.

Pengetua kelihatan resah dengan soalan yang diajukan oleh Cikgu Murni.

Abu: Khemah

Cikgu Murni: Jari memasuki saya. Awak menggesel-gesel saya bila awak teringatkan saya. Lelaki idaman akan mendapat saya dahulu.

Pengetua semakin resah dan tidak selesa. Lantas terus meneguk segelas Nescafe 3in1.

Abu: Cincin perkahwinan

Cikgu Murni: Saya ada bermacam-macam saiz. Bila saya sakit saya akan meleleh. Bila saya keluar, banyak tisu yang akan digunakan. Bila awak hembuskan saya, akan berasa lega.

Sekali lagi pengetua rasa amat resah dengan soalan yang di ajukan oleh Cikgu Murni dan ingin membantah, tapi si Abu mendahuluinya.

Abu: Hidung

Cikgu Murni: Saya batang yang keras. Hujungnya tajam. Saya akan datang dan masuk dengan lajunya.

Abu: Anak panah

Cikgu Murni: Sekarang saya akan ajukan soalan dalam Bahasa Inggeris, okay?

Abu: Okay

Cikgu Murni: What word starts with a 'F' and end in 'K' that means lot ofheat and excitement?

Abu: Firetruck

Cikgu Murni: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if you dont getit you have to use your hand.

Abu: Fork

Cikgu Murni: What is it that all men have one of. It's longer on some men than on others, the pope does not use his, and a man gives it to his wife after they are married?

Abu: Surname

Cikgu Murni: What part of the man has no bones but has muscles, lots of veins and loves pumping?

Abu: Heart

Pengetua menghembuskan nafas kelegaan bila mendengar jawapan yang diberikan oleh si Abu, lantas berkata "Baik hantar murid ini ke Universiti Malaya; jawapan yang saya fikirkan semuanya salah"

...........................................................................

P/s: Jika jawapan anda semua salah, anda adalah sama spesies dengan pengetua yang mempunyai pemikiran kuning.....hehehe

Comeback XD

2011-03-12T20:31:00.005+08:00

I'm actually stranded right now because it's been raining non-stop since the afternoon..so with these overwhelming sense of isolated and boredom, I decided to end the drought after all this time..I was actually planning to keep on silent for a year but oh well XD Impulsive you say..I sure am..anyway, let just get this over with something I picked up along the way these past few months..let see if this works XD

Free Music at divine-music.info

guess it did..woohoo XD

From Where to Where? part 1

2010-06-26T21:02:00.002+08:00

this is something I quoted from a magazine named "Solusi" the 20th issue..the name are taken from the word solution which seems to bring with it a lot of meaning..In chemistry, a solution is a homogeneous mixture where one substance is dissolved in another..In mathematics, a solution can specifically mean the result of equation solving..and in business, a solution is a product, service, or combination of both which is said to solve a business or consumer's problem..the magazine itself may have gotten the name from the many problems which are discussed and solved inside..anyway..here's what caught my interest in the mag then..I've translated it from the original language which is Malaysian Language..

From Where Going to Where?

Parents can ask these following question to their children..Teachers can also asks their students to write down their answers on papers..But the most important thing is we ask this to ourselves..These are the question:

1) Where are you now ?

2) What are you up to ?

3) Where are you headed after this ?

I will give u guys some times to ponder yourselves for now..I'll continue this in my next post =P

Gone to Places..

2010-06-12T19:55:00.003+08:00

On Thursday, I went back to Kuala Kangsar..an hour trip more or less..

On Friday..went to a waterfall..it was great to take a dip in the cold and refreshing icy water..spent almost 2 hours there..

I had a wedding to attend today..it my uncle's..hehe..the venue was at Sg Dua Public Hall..the trip took about half a day..

That about summarize all my past activities other than gaming and surfing the net..anyway..all those trips are very tiring..I'll need some time for myself to recuperate..hehe XD

I'm Going Home..

2010-06-07T08:23:00.000+08:00

No..it's not about another song with the same title by Chris Daughtry..but the song is pretty good itself..I'm finally getting ready to go back to my home now..well, not so ready actually..but since the ticket are book and all, I guess I've no choice then..I really am going back to see my family..to those who are already back(I think most of them are), have a great time this holiday..don't forget to come back to work after 2 weeks though..hehehe ^^
p/s - I'm still half asleep =_=..so I hope by posting something it'll get my brain to work and wake me up fully..I've to admit it's working just fine ^_^

Behind Brown Eyes..

2010-06-05T00:11:00.003+08:00

This song..I heard it once, or maybe twice during secondary school..but the melody and lyric were implanted into me even till now..there isn't any connection between the wordings and myself nevertheless, I found it very attached to my memory..I'll let you guys explore it yourselves here..

"Behind Blue Eyes" -Limp Bizkit

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be fated to telling only lies

[Chorus:]
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

[Chorus]

Discover l.i.m.p. say it [x4]
No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies

[Chorus]

No one knows what its like
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Behind blue eyes.

I don't know how you felt but I'll tell what I feel from listening to this particular song..Strength, wisdom and will-power.. while everyone around you is probably the enemy, critics, back stabers or even someone who's invisible, detestable and etc, there is still a story behind each and every one of them..people may not seem like what we thought they might be..driven into a corner and then taking a path which changed them forever..but deep inside, he's still the same..if you could spare some time and listen, you'll see what's behind those blue eyes or green or brown or any colour at all..what say you??

I'm Back!!

2010-06-04T19:02:00.001+08:00

my broadband have been fully revived..hahaha..I'm so damn happy..it's time!! ^o^

Waiting =_="

2010-06-03T15:24:00.000+08:00

I hate waiting..call me impatient, but I cannot stand sitting idle waiting for things to come..haha..I'm waiting for my NEW broadband to be activate actually..that's why it's so hard to stay calm and steady for the next day to come..f.y.i, I need to wait for 24 hours before I can start using the NEW sim card and modem..haih..really can't wait ^^

Rain Falls..

2010-06-02T20:27:00.001+08:00

it's raining outside and I'm laying around doing nothing..so I decide to dedicate a post to one of mother nature most important gift for all living thing..I'm sure most of you learned about the process involved in the "how rain cloud was formed" topic during science class..you should also knew about the importance of rain whether from similar lessons or from personal life experiences..let's skip that part and move on to what is the relationship between the rain and me since I was willing to make a tribute for it..hehe..actually, I am a rain-man..just kidding..but the rain and I, we went back way long..ever since I was a kid, I had pleasant memories when involving the rain..I always went out during the rain with the excuse of cleaning the drain around my house as for the fact I went "swimming" in all the puddles formed by the rain..how I love playing in those watery holes those days..even more than going swimming in the sea..while the sun make the air hot at the beach, the atmosphere during the rain is cold and truly refreshing..I will lay down facing up to the sky and let the rain drops fall down onto my face..the effect is very trancing to me..I can lay there and let the water comfort me through out the rain..it felt like me and the universe will then coexist and be as one until the last rain drop fall..luckily my parent wouldn't let me out during thunder storm because to me that time it didn't matter as long as it rains..if they had not forbade me back then, I'll probably wouldn't be here right now..hahaha..I had never even once fell sick because of exposure to the rain unlike the common belief..I think the rain and I must had reached an understanding at that moment so it'll let me go unharmed every time..well maybe..
now that I've grown up..the rain had become more of a burden than a blessing..it hinders my activities and sometime causes inconveniences..but, what bother me the most is this melancholic feeling I felt during rainy time as of now..while I sit and listen to the many sounds of rain falling, bugs and frogs croaking I suddenly sensed that I'm somewhat empty..I experienced loneliness like never before..a feeling that is hard to describe using mere words or languages..it felt so strange and distant yet it's there..I think that pretty much I had the idea of what I'm missing but that is just a theory I've yet to try..then again, there are also time I felt like looking outside while sitting near the windowsill..I'll regained a familiar emotion similar to seeing a very old childhood friend or something like that..while I stay there and listen as she told me the tale of her travels and experiences(a girlfriend is more preferable to me XD)..I thought that if I look really hard at the rain, I'll see a vague figure standing there chatting to me..hehehe ^_^

Procrastination..

2010-06-02T14:44:00.000+08:00

Been thinking about going back home today..but here I am..still in this foreign land..haha..I'm an excellent procrastinator after all..I've decided I'll go back this coming Friday then..I've got a few more things to be taken care of before I go back(that's just an excuse XD)..why haven't they invent a teleportation system by now..that'll make everyone life much easier..sigh =_=

Attention-Seeking Personality Disorders..

2010-05-31T14:32:00.012+08:00

I was out surfing the net as usual..with nothing much to do I'm getting near the limit of my boredom tolerances..still I keep on surfing with out any specific goals in mind..then a thought pop out into my mind..and when I became aware of that what that thought could have meant, I started to Google up information regarding this topic I'm typing..I seek to better understand myself, so I can stay in control most of the time..yet, there is always seems to be some part of me that I didn't familiar with or even realize it's there..most people doesn't even know themselves as much as they think they do..enough then..

Attention-seeking personality disorder is most common among woman..but that doesn't mean that a guy couldn't be suffering from the same disorder..after all, human being is a social creatures which need to attain approval and self-gratification through the mean of interaction..the feedback they got will then ascertain whether they felt validated or not..a person with matured emotional intelligence will have no need to go all out for this since they'll find it in everyday life cycle..but, when the person emotion is not yet matured sent loose into the outside world, he/she will felt insecure, have low self-esteem and almost no visible self-confidence at all..these people will then be tempted to conspirate(just like the sound of this) a situation where they can gain the attention and gratification which they need the most..according to an online reference "insecure and emotionally immature people often exhibit bullying behaviours, especially manipulation and deception"..there are also several channels or methods used practically by almost everyone to seek attention according to http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/attent.htm ..these methods includes the perpetrator playing a roles in which described below :

The sufferer: this might include feigning or exaggerating illness, playing on an injury, or perhaps causing or inviting injury, in extreme cases going as far as losing a limb. Severe cases may meet the diagnostic criteria for Munchausen Syndrome (also know as Factitious Disorder). The illness or injury becomes a vehicle for gaining sympathy and thus attention. The attention-seeker excels in manipulating people through their emotions, especially that of guilt. It's very difficult not to feel sorry for someone who relates a plausible tale of suffering in a sob story or "poor me" drama.

The saviour: in attention-seeking personality disorders like Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy (MSBP, also known as Factitious Disorder By Proxy) the person, usually female, creates opportunities to be centre of attention by intentionally causing harm to others and then being their saviour, by saving their life, and by being such a caring, compassionate person. Few people realise the injury was deliberate. The MSBP mother or nurse may kill several babies before suspicions are aroused. When not in saviour mode, the saviour may be resentful, perhaps even contemptuous, of the person or persons she is saving.

The rescuer: particularly common in family situations, she's the one who will dash in and "rescue" people whenever the moment is opportune - to herself, that is. She then gains gratification from basking in the glory of her humanitarian actions. She will prey on any person suffering misfortune, infirmity, illness, injury, or anyone who has a vulnerability. The act of rescue and thus the opportunities for gaining attention can be enhanced if others are excluded from the act of rescue; this helps create a dependency relationship between the rescuer and rescued which can be exploited for further acts of rescue (and attention) later. When not in rescue mode, the rescuer may be resentful, perhaps even contemptuous, of the person she is rescuing.

The organiser: she may present herself as the one in charge, the one organising everything, the one who is reliable and dependable, the one people can always turn to. However, the objective is not to help people (this is only a means to an end) but to always be the centre of attention.

The manipulator: she may exploit family relationships, manipulating others with guilt and distorting perceptions; although she may not harm people physically, she causes everyone to suffer emotional injury. Vulnerable family members are favourite targets. A common attention-seeking ploy is to claim she is being persecuted, victimised, excluded, isolated or ignored by another family member or group, perhaps insisting she is the target of a campaign of exclusion or harassment.

The mind-poisoner: adept at poisoning peoples' minds by manipulating their perceptions of others, especially against the current target.

The drama queen: every incident or opportunity, no matter how insignificant, is exploited, exaggerated and if necessary distorted to become an event of dramatic proportions. Everything is elevated to crisis proportions. Histrionics may be present where the person feels she is not the centre of attention but should be. Inappropriate flirtatious behaviour may also be present.

The busy bee: this individual is the busiest person in the world if her constant retelling of her life is to be believed. Everyday events which are regarded as normal by normal people take on epic proportions as everyone is invited to simultaneously admire and commiserate with this oh-so-busy person who never has a moment to herself, never has time to sit down, etc. She's never too busy, though, to tell you how busy she is.

The feigner: when called to account and outwitted, the person instinctively uses the denial - counterattack - feigning victimhood strategy to manipulate everyone present, especially bystanders and those in authority. The most effective method of feigning victimhood is to burst into tears, for most people's instinct is to feel sorry for them, to put their arm round them or offer them a tissue. There's little more plausible than real tears, although as actresses know, it's possible to turn these on at will. Feigners are adept at using crocodile tears. From years of practice, attention-seekers often give an Oscar-winning performance in this respect. Feigning victimhood is a favourite tactic of bullies and harassers to evade accountability and sanction. When accused of bullying and harassment, the person immediately turns on the water works and claims they are the one being bullied or harassed - even though there's been no prior mention of being bullied or harassed. It's the fact that this claim appears only after and in response to having been called to account that is revealing. Mature adults do not burst into tears when held accountable for their actions.

The false confessor: this person confesses to crimes they haven't committed in order to gain attention from the police and the media. In some cases people have confessed to being serial killers, even though they cannot provide any substantive evidence of their crimes. Often they will confess to crimes which have just been reported in the media. Some individuals are know to the police as serial confessors. The false confessor is different from a person who make a false confession and admits to a crime of which they are accused because of emotional pressure and inappropriate interrogation tactics.

The abused: a person claims they are the victim of abuse, sexual abuse, rape etc as a way of gaining attention for themselves. Crimes like abuse and rape are difficult to prove at the best of times and their incidence is so common that it is easy to make a plausible claim as a way of gaining attention.

The online victim: this person uses Internet chat rooms and forums to allege that they've been the victim of rape, violence, harassment, abuse etc. The alleged crime is never reported to the authorities, for obvious reasons. The facelessness and anonymity of the Internet suits this type of attention seeker.

The victim: she may intentionally create acts of harassment against herself, eg send herself hate mail or damage her own possessions in an attempt to incriminate a fellow employee, a family member, neighbour, etc. Scheming, cunning, devious, deceptive and manipulative, she will identify her "harasser" and produce circumstantial evidence in support of her claim. She will revel in the attention she gains and use her glib charm to plausibly dismiss any suggestion that she herself may be responsible. However, a background check may reveal that this is not the first time she has had this happen to her.

Yeah..I was surprised when I learned there was this much things going on without I even knowing more than half of them..so, you may never know that you might actually suffering from this kind of personality disorder..take a good look within yourself..get a mirror or even better a close friend to ascertain for you..hahaha..what about me??I'm in a whole different degree..ever heard of narcissist??it's not in the family of narcotic..Narcissist are sufferers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder..characterised by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity and self-importance, need for admiration, and lack of empathy, people with narcissistic personality disorder overestimate their abilities and inflate their accomplishments, often appearing boastful and pretentious, whilst correspondingly underestimating and devaluing the achievements and accomplishments of others..sounds familiar??heh..since we are here already, I'll tell you a bit about this awesome personality I happen to have..according to the DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder are a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, lack of empathy, as indicated by at least five of:

1. a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement, ie unreasonable expectations of especially favourable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6. is interpersonally exploitative, ie takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
7. lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes

charming aren't they..I have 1,2 and 9 with a couple more which didn't stand out much..fortunately I don't have the need of envying, admiration or even entitlement..so maybe I'm not so much of a narcissist but something even more..then again, saying that itself is narcissistical(actually not a word)..I left you guys to ponder on your own then..good luck finding the real you..hehe ^^

C&P XII

2010-05-30T15:25:00.002+08:00

Below is my newest post in Preschool Troopers blogsite..just that I think it'll be a great addition to my post list here too..hehehe..no c&p for a long time after all..

"Sahaja aku meletakkan post ini..sudah hampir setengah tahun kita menjadi guru sebenar..bagaimana perasaan rakan-rakan yang lain??aku masih kadang2 keliru dihambat kemalasan dan rasa ingin berseronok dengan tanggungjawab dan juga idealisme aku sendiri..saban kali aku bangun di awal pagi dan terus berfikir "Malasnye rase nak pegi sekolah arie nie.."..dan ianya tidak berhenti di situ sahaja..sambil aku bersiap, membersihkan diri, menyarungkan baju hinggalah aku melangkah keluar dari rumah pertanyaan demi pertanyaan seperti itu menyebu benakku..aku kira aku masih lagi belum memperoleh kembali sifat ikhlas dalam melakukan sesuatu..atau mungkin keikhlasan sudah hilang sama sekali akibat sedemikian lama diketepikan..tetapi, aku masih lagi mengheret diriku setiap hari ke bangunan sekolah dan mengajar anak-anak kecil itu dengan sedaya yang aku mampu..aku tidak membenci pekerjaan ini..malah inilah yang aku cita-citakan semenjak kecil..aku gembira bergaul dengan murid-muridku, melihat mereka membuat kerja yang ku beri, membuka minda mereka terhadap perkara2 baru dan hanya duduk memantau tingkahlaku mereka dengan asyik dan penuh perhatian..malam hari pula aku merancang tekun proses p&p yang bakal aku jalankan pula pada keesokan harinya..berhempas-pulas aku memerah idea agar aktiviti-aktiviti yang aku rancangkan itu mempunyai kesinambungan dan dapat memberi pengetahuan baru kepada semua kanak-kanak itu..jadi mengapa wujudnya pemikiran yang negatif itu setiap kali aku bangun dari tidur dengan penuh kesegaran dan kesediaan menempuh satu hari yang baru??hubungan aku dengan rakan sekerja, pihak pentadbiran malah anggota-anggota bukan guru juga tidak menemui sebarang masalah yang boleh mengundang rasa tidak selesa dalam menjalankan tugas..tetapi mengapa kemalasan itu masih wujud sehingga kini??apakah itu semua hasutan iblis laknatullah yang ingin menggagalkan usaha aku mendidik anak Adam??atau itu semua datangnya dari keinginan aku sendiri yang aku pendamkan sedalam-dalamnya..aku kurang pasti..bagaimana pula dengan rakan-rakan??wujudkah kelemahan seperti ini dalam diri kamu semua??kalau ada, secepatnya perbetulkanlah niat anda untuk bekerja..mudah-mudahan pekerjaan yang diusahakan itu menjadi ibadat yang memberatkan timbangan anda di akhirat kelak..wallahualam.."

Bad Luck..

2010-05-29T12:17:00.002+08:00

I lost my NEW wireless broadband yesterday..it's the saddest thing that ever happen to me this month..sigh..here's how it happen..there was a blackout in the office yesterday..luckily I was using my battery so I keep on doing what I do..after an hour or so my battery was almost depleted and the electricity still hasn't come in..so I decided to unplug my broadband device and put my computer to sleep..I remembered putting the device into my pocket before I went to the couch to take a quick nap while waiting for the power come back online..it never did and rain was pouring outside..so after a few hours waiting, me and my friend decided to go back since it's getting late anyway..I packed all my belonging and went home with him..on the way back we stopped for tea at the usual place..while we was there the power came back..I was happy since I thought I can get back online after we reach home..then we take our leave and went straight back to our house..it was then I realized that my broadband wasn't in my pocket anymore..I searched all over for that thing..after leaving not a single unturned, I accept the fact that it had mysteriously gone..haih..I only had it for less than a week..I fell very devastated at the moment..sigh T_T

p/s-I'm going to apply for a new 1 if it didn't show up in the near future ^^

School Holiday..again XD

2010-05-27T18:45:00.003+08:00

the most awaited time for all pupils and teachers alike is finally here..why I included teacher there..honestly even I was excited about holiday ever since I was a kid..there was so much installed for me during that time..reminiscing about the past, holiday hold a lot of fond memories..childhood friends, early discoveries, adventures that opened my eyes, those dreams I used to have and so many more..it all seems so far away now..heh..but the most interesting thought will be how I used to be back then and how I've changed in time..I'm significantly a different man than the boy I had in mind..haih..let's keep this for some other time then..those time when I was still ignorant and somewhat innocent..haha..what important is now anyway..it's yet another time to indulges myself with adventures, discoveries and dreams..in a different kind of way..to all my colleague and friends:

"HAPPY HOLIDAY, Enjoy yourselves while you can"

my student still can't read, most of them..and I find the thought of them reading it here is somewhat impossible so I don't have any wish for them here..tough luck twerps..haha ^^

Upcoming Disaster?!

2010-05-26T11:24:00.003+08:00

school holiday is starting again..real soon, I'll be back to see my parents, siblings, cousins and etc..are they the source of the disaster u ask??no..of course not..I may be cold and heartless but I never detest my family ever..we share the most similar bloodline after all..the holiday is the cause then??haha..silly..who wouldn't love to have some free times to spend..unless you have a serious case of workaholic that is..good luck surviving the holidays to you I suppose..hehe..like I said earlier, holiday is the time for me to meet my family..to catch up on what's happening to everybody..not that I care too much though..still, it'll do me good to have a stabilize relationship between the family members..I don't think anyone can disagree with that..so what the hell is the disaster about!?well..I just learned that a group of people from JPN Sabah is coming to our district right after the holiday..yes, they are going to observe, supervise and visit each school in this area during their one week of stay..how lovely is that..and to add up the joy..a new program called D'1 is being put into action as I'm typing now which also involved us soon after the holiday..hurray..nice huh..ah well..that's all for the disaster report this time..be sure to tune in for any new informations regarding fun-filled, disastrous activities happening around me..until next time..I'm out..

New Addiction ^^

2010-05-25T17:53:00.003+08:00

for those who knew me well enough, they'll know that I'm an addict..not drug addicted..I'm a game addict..let just say I love to play games..I played a whole range types of games..shooting, strategy, rpg, sims, fighting..and my most favourtite genre would be fantasy-rpg..almost every game I love involved with this theme..they fit my imagination thirst like a well made stew..ahh..so statisfying..hehe..a couple of years back, I got involved with mmorpg..for those who are not familiar with that term, feel free to look it up in wikipedia or something..back to my story, it was love at first sight the moment I found out about the beta testing for Ragnarok Online 7 years ago..man, I was stuck to it like a bee to honey..just couldn't get enough of it..I can say honestly my reason to suck up my matriculation exam was being ADDICTED to RO back then..those sweet memories..and I was still playing it until last year..tried every job classes that game have to offered and when I reached the pinnacle of my passion, I started to hunt for a new thing to indulge to..and this year..I found a new thing to be addicted to..that is DRAGONICA woo-hoo..so, I want to spread this new found enjoyment to all my colleague and friend..just like another friend of mine hook me up to this..haha..this game is easy to play, have cute graphic, many gamers from our country is into it including me, the emotion system is hilarious, have a relationship system(if u find this interesting), a convenient buddy list, and so much more..so if u decide to find something to help take your stress away, I prescript this as a healthy substitute from drugs..here's the homepage in case anyone is interested..

http://dragonica.iahgames.com/site/default.aspx

and here are some eye candies from the game..

if you are in..feel free to pm me..if I'm around at that time, I'll be sure to meet up with you..see you guys ^^

Re-energized ^^

2010-05-25T08:01:00.002+08:00

I got myself a new broadband..since the coverage of my previous maxis broadband is really poor here, I bought a new celcom provided broadband to satisfy my need for internet..at last I can be onlining to the max..hurray for me!!

A Long Slumber..

2010-05-09T11:17:00.000+08:00

Being without internet connection for 2 month, really made my life seems a little bleak..I can't play online games, download new manganimes, no chatting and of course no updates what-so-ever..sigh..boredom is like a shadow which never leave..wonder how long I can last by faking ignorance and self-realism..

Drowning =P

2010-03-08T18:13:00.000+08:00

helpless..suffocating..slowly drowning into the sea of despairs..losing my spirit to move and fight on..I can not feel anymore zealousness..I'm drifting further and further away inside coffined thought of self-pitying..each miss action which I take is making me hate and hating myself even more..while I seek something to keep me apart, I experienced lost in my soul..what is going on??not everything is making any sense to me now..how much longer am I going to fall??I'm not sure until I have reach the bottom..is this the end??I wonder..
But, I haven't tried everything I have yet..when I look back into those many years spent to get here before, I can't let it over just this easy..I want to keep on struggling..try everything until I have nothing more left to attempt..even then, I can't let it go free from my grasp..I shall clench my fists and drag my beaten down being toward any path that I see..as long as I have me, I won't stop..I shall not be halted..even slowly, but surely I will...

"man is not made for defeat..a man can be destroyed, but not defeated" Ernest Hemingway - The Old Man And The Sea..

A new episode..

2010-02-28T20:15:00.000+08:00

My life travel had always been a smooth ride..the road itself is very pleasant, straight, wide and less bumpy..for sure things always turn my way and that served me real well..because of that, I've turned into a guy with no interest for a higher goals or anything as fancy..moderation..that's how I am today..
enough about me alone..it's the story of my new environment and me..I had been placed in an area which I considered quite remote..this latest home of mine differ from my usual settlement with a vast magnitude..let say 10th to 20th times the differences rate..not that it's uncivilized or anything but the differences is in term of languages, customs and norms generally..the divergence is so great that while I'm reluctant to say it but I've really been thrown off balance for quite a while now..I've lost sight of my early goals and now dragging myself into each passing days without a real sense of what I'm doing..well that may sound a bit abroad but in a way it is true..facing a new type of environment, language is vital tool for overcoming the other barriers..and I'm having trouble in communication sometimes..which is not a good symptom..several times I felt dispirited and that coming here was a bad idea..that I'm not suitable for this kind of workplace situation etc..
am I going to back away??chicken out now??
no..I guess not..I'm not so great to say I'll find a way to turn things around..I'm no idealist to try every possible insights and ideas out..it's just I know thing will turn out my way in the end..it has always been like that in the past and that how it shall always be in my future..all this troubles, challenges are but one or two of the bumps in my less bumpy travel route..I know, this is my way, and it will suit me well..

testing..

2010-02-23T21:03:00.000+08:00

my 1st post in here since my new placement in rural area of Sabah..just checking if it's possible to post a decent stuff with this awfully low coverage I'm getting..here goes..

Posting Concluded..

2009-12-26T15:28:00.000+08:00

I'm going to Sabah..yay for me ^^..hehe..things might be going to get tough on me but this is what I asked for..so I'm very excited because given the chance to go there..now I can look up for a speedy recovery..

Bed-Ridden =(

2009-12-24T03:00:00.002+08:00

I got Chicken-Pox XD..sigh..now, the me that I look is not the me that I wish to see..I just hope this will all end soon..it's hurting my pride badly..

Whimps..

2009-12-03T18:39:00.003+08:00

too much free times can led to boredom..that's where I ended myself now..sigh..while rumming through my songs collection, I found several which had been my favorite back in the younger days..the thing is, most of them are english songs..only a few of the Malay song get me hyped up..come to think of it, I rarely listen to any Malay song or band except for XPDC or Butterfingers during those time..not that I had anything skeptic toward our local music industries, but it just didn't occur to me back then..I never favor any artists or band but only their songs..still the same even now..anyway, it made me think deeply..why was I attracted to them??what kind of thing that I found in them??how is it theirs any difference than ours??when I hit myself with these questions, I realized an answer..it's the LYRICS..yup..the word in their songs fascinated me the most..again, no skepticism to our local song writers or whatever..I was in love with how they put the words together making them into a fine song..when I listen to those song, I can imagine all sort of images in my mind..all of them led by the story of the song..here's one of the lyric which I'm hearing right now..what kind of story can u make out of this one??

Blurry-Puddle Of Mudd

Everything's so blurry
And everyone's so fake
And everybody's empty
And everything is so messed up
Pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I Stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I'll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what you're doing
Imagine where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
Well you shoved it in my face

Everyone is changing
There's no one left that's real
So make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
'Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I Stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my scene
Know that I will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
Well, you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me

Oh,
Nobody told me what you thought
Nobody told me what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Told you where to run away
Nobody told you where to hide
Nobody told you what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Showed you when to run away

Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
Well you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
Well you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me

NOOOOOO!

This pain you gave to me

This pain you gave to me

Take it all away

Take it all away

This pain you gave to me

This pain you gave to me

Take it all away

This pain you gave to me

let me state this again..I'm bored..so this is what killing time meant right??

These Final Moment..

2009-11-25T20:48:00.004+08:00

been busy with the kissm..and also the connection was not so good these past couple of days actually..so I hadn't made any new entry so far..this 1??I'm in the middle of packing up my stuffs right now..taking a short break and thought maybe I'll update my blog for a bit..plus the connection is going rather smoothly so I can't let this opportunity slip pass me by..after, this maybe the last time I'll be texting in this journal of mine as a student..heh..really now..the idea of me becoming a working guy seems so close now but it still feels unreal just as much..I'd visualized myself in the situation for thousands of times already..yet I can't grasped the reality of those visions just yet..does this means that even though I act composed and steady all the time I'm still scared inside..sigh..that is so immature of me..looks like there's more that I need to learn for the time to come..well, learning will never stops after all..hehehe =p

To Busy or Not To Busy..

2009-11-17T21:50:00.003+08:00

that's a parody from Shakespeare's "To Be or Not To Be"..I heard that KISSM's assignments is due this Friday..to tell the truth, I'm not feeling any heat nor motivated to start working on any of the given task yet..say I'm lazy or I'm ignorant or I'm a procrastinator, I don't plan to burn the midnight oil doing it..I'd rather stay up playing games or just sleep and recover my strength for the next day to come..heh..yeah it's so wrong but I can't seem to help it myself..I know I can do it once I put my hands to work but I really, really, REALLY don't feel like going anything yet..well, maybe just the collaboration form for now..sigh..like I said earlier..I'm in a very non-motivated mood to start working right now..shouldn't but nothing seems to make sense for now except for this boredom and selfish thought..in the end, I ended up completing this stuff..

I don't know what to say..

I don't know what to speak..

I don't know what to ask..

I don't know what to think..

want to console you..

but I'm not sure how..

want to soothe you..

but I'm not sure if I can..

if you don't mind..

and if you want to..

throw it out..

this soul can listen..

it will bear it..

and I'm sure it won't break..

you don't need to understand..

you don't need to care..

but if you ever need me..

trust me I'll be there..

zzz..I made this 1 about 4-5 years ago..it's a short message based for the hand phone SMS system..I said I completed it but I just changed the words from the very SHORT FORMS to a much more adequate style..recalling back to that time, it's a keen memory which I'll never forget..well not yet anyway..hehehe..the HOTTEST topic to be discussed about now, is where in the world am I'll to end up teaching later..narrow that down where in the country then because I'm not going to teach outside the country anyway..maybe I'll post it here when I know about the place officially later on..

Blog Alumni berwajah baru..

2009-11-16T13:14:00.003+08:00

Blog PISMK-OUM IPIS Cohort 1 kini sudah berwajah baru..sesiapa yang ingin melawat bolehlah berkunjung ke pautan ini..

ataupun : http://alumnipismkipis.blogspot.com/

A story..

2009-11-15T16:03:00.006+08:00

This is a story..about a guy..he had a feeling towards a girl which he kept for almost 4 years..just because he isn't sure whether his feeling is true or not..because earlier, he had fallen for another girl which went oversea studying and promised to wait for her return with an answer..in order to keep that promise and be true toward his own feeling, he kept holding it for those 2 long years..while the other girl is away, he decided to put a barrier between himself and the girl who's with him at that time..he decided to put on a mask shielding all of his passion deep underneath it..while he's waiting, he can't help noticing how interesting that girl really is..several time he lost control of his own will and nearly went ahead of himself but recovered just in time..sensing he couldn't keep himself in control if things went on the way it was back then, he started to act differently toward that girl..he teased on her, playing around with other girls and so on..he even used a different nick name to see if it's true for the girl to have feeling for him..even when he's sure she is the one for him he still couldn't break his promise..he was hoping for that girl to stay away from him and it works..it keeps her at bay..finally, the girl he had waited for come back..when he asked her for an answer she replied with a "Sorry"..she couldn't accept him into her life..the guy knew the answer would come out that way..but, he decided to be honest and kept his promise to the end..now that he's free, he turn around to look at the other girl which was beside him all those time..the girl which he toyed upon, and occasionally hurt..but she's not looking at him anymore..then he realized, that girl had also turned away from him..not because she couldn't accept him but because she was hurt real bad..that guy was overcome by guilt..he cursed all the actions he had taken..he regretted the way he acted toward her..but it was already too late for him..later he found a note the girl had typed..the girl said she had loved but it was too much for herself to bear..and he knew it was for him although it was never delivered..he realized how wrong he was but he could never went back to the beginning and take a different path..try as he might but he could never undone what have been done..so in the end, he stand up into the light and confessed his true feeling, for her to hear because he want her to know he was already hers all the time..and he's truly sorry for all he had done..then he bowed down, holding back on his regret and walk away..the curtain slowly closed behind..that is how the story ended for him..

so..how was the story then..the rain brings up a melancholy feeling and I can't help it but to write this whole thing up.."Is it a true story?" some may ask..I say it is..my father had once said to me and he's very proud of it "opportunity knocks on every door, but only once" and that would suit as the moral of the story very much..but to me, being true to oneself is not a sin..by doing something wholeheartedly, it's as good as a job well done regardless of the outcome..so just as the guy in the story had done, I'll take off my hat and bow down for now..the end..

The Parting..

2009-11-15T11:18:00.002+08:00

both my parents have gone away now..not that they have passed or anything..they just went to the Holy Land performing the Haj..I'll not be seeing them for about a month or so..this is the first parting that I mention above..the second parting will be with my friends and colleagues which are going to get their posting places in a few days..well, some of them have already received the informant later which was delivered to each respective houses..so their parents had contacted and informed them about the news..my household is empty for now so I wouldn't know if any letter regarding my posting information arrived yet..I don't care much about where I'll be posted too just I need to know for the sake of packing up and some other trivial matters..I'm the one who is in charge of the house for now so I need to make preparation in case I'm going to go far away..my younger siblings are now over at our relative house for the time being until I can came back from my studies..anyway, the fact here is that I'll be parting with my classmates, batch, juniors and the whole institutional members which I attend for the past few years..the time has finally arrives for us to go our separate ways..everyone will be walking down the path of working without any clues about whether we'll ever meet again in the future or not..still, this is the route everyone must follow in their way to continue living..dead man won't need this kind of stuff right..heh..then I'll also be parting with my own life..as a student..like I mentioned earlier, this is the path I must follow as a process of growing up into adulthood..the first part of my life is going to end and it's time to trod along the second chapter..let it be alone or as a group, I'll still be embarking on this ongoing journey called life until the time that is given to me is up..I prayed so my wills shall never wither and my spirits will not be lost..I also pray for my other comrades wishing them courages that never falls especially those who's going to the remote areas..it takes lot of mental and spiritual firmness for one to be able to perform their duty well deep in the jungle..hehehe..good luck to those going to Sabah and Sarawak (mar, azmil, budi and those who will be getting their places soon)..I might be joining u guys if given the chance..but I'll never know for sure until tomorrow or the days to come..to all the other PISMK-OUM students all around the country, good luck and I wish you guys all the best - sincerely Ahmad Fikri Zulkifli

C&P XI

2009-11-13T01:06:00.002+08:00

:heNsem gUy VS xheNsem gUy~~

Kalau lelaki handsome pendiam
Perempuan akan cakap:: woow, cool giler...
kalau lelaki tak handsome pendiam
Perempuan akan cakap: eh perasan bagus...

kalau lelaki handsome berbuat jahat
Perempuan akan kata: nobody's perfect
kalau lelaki tak handsome berbuat jahat
perempuan akan cakap: memang.... muka pun
macam pecah rumah!

kalau lelaki handsome menolong perempuan yg
diganggu
perempuan akan cakap: wah.. machonya.. macam
hero filem!
kalau lelaki tak handsome menolong perempuan
yang diganggu
Perempuan akan kata: entah2 kawan dia...

kalau lelaki handsome dapat perempuan cantik
perempuan akan kata: sepadan sangat...
kalau lelaki tak handsome dapat perempuan cantik
perempuan akan kata: mesti kena bomoh
perempuan tuh!

kalau lelaki handsome ditinggal kekasih
perempuan akan kata: jangan sedih, kan saya ada..
kalau lelaki tak handsome ditinggal kekasih
perempuan akan kata:...(terdiam, tapi telunjuknya
meliuk-liuk dari atas ke bawah, patutlah, tengok
saja luarannya)...

kalau lelaki handsome penyayang binatang
perempuan akan cakap: perasaannya
halus...penuh kasih sayang
kalau lelaki tak handsome penyayang binatang
perempuan akan cakap: sesama keluarga
memang harus menyayangi...

kalau lelaki handsome bawa BMW
perempuan akan cakap: matching... hebat luar
dalam
kalau lelaki tak handsome bawa BMW
perempuan akan cakap: bang, bosnya mana?...

kalau lelaki handsome tak mau bergambar
perempuan akan cakap: pasti takut kalau2
gambarnya tersebar
kalau lelaki tak handsome tak mau bergambar
perempuan akan kata: tak sanggup melihat
hasilnya ya?...

kalau lelaki handsome menuang air ke gelas perempuan
perempuan akan cakap:ini barulah lelaki gentlemen
kalau lelaki tak handsome menuang air ke gelas perempuan
perempuan akan cakap: naluri pembantu, memang
begitu....

kalau lelaki handsome bersedih hati
perempuan akan cakap: let me be your shoulder to cry on
kalau lelaki tak handsome bersedih hati
perempuan akan kata: kuat nangis!! lelaki ke
bukan ni?

hurm..lot of c&p this month..ah well..it's getting late anyway..so this will just have to do..

Poetic..

2009-11-12T00:37:00.008+08:00

looking back at those poems, I found some of them which were made by me a long, long time ago..back then I was still in my early teenage age and like to venture into a new field..since learning literature were implemented during that time, I read a lot of poems and even represented my school in a poem competition..that was ancient history though..reading through those poems which I made myself really bring up some nostalgic memories..I was reminded about how small I was back then while trying to fill in a large gap left by my predecessor..at times I even felt helpless and those poems were mostly written as a way for me to express all those thoughts and worries..geez, even I have a cute side like that before..hahaha..anyway, writing helps me to relax and calmed my troubled soul..I don't mean to brag but my essay writing are quite good at that time but what I lack is the creativity of a poet when writing..so all those poems are very straight-forward and kind of embarrassing really..heh..I'll put 1 here for all to read..

Sometimes I’m cool,

Mostly I’m cold..

Sometimes I’m so full,

Mostly I’m just a fool..

Sometimes I act don’t care,

Mostly I can’t help but to scare..

Sometimes I become unapproachable,

Mostly I was still amenable..

Sometimes I’ll hurt,

Mostly I’m then one who’s hurt..

Sometimes I do foolish things,

Mostly I like to show everything..

Sometimes I can be cocky,

Mostly I tried to be flashy..

Sometimes I present sarcasm,

Mostly I feel veneration..

Sometimes I reveal the light,

Mostly I conceal the dark..

Sometimes I showed it outside,

Mostly I keep it all inside..

as u guys can see, some of the words may sounded bombastic but it's all thanks to my meddling with a thesaurus back then..getting synonyms was not much of a trouble for me..I just need to think of the words which can covey what I meant and then search for other unique word which convey the same meaning..I am creative in a way I guess..hehehe..well, the ME right now are not interested with these kind of things anymore..although I'm definitely confident with my ability to compose lyrics and words but I rather not use that as one of my shining talents..it's such a hassle really..

another long one.. C&P X

2009-11-10T23:56:00.005+08:00

been chatting with a friend of mine a while ago..as I'm a man with great communication skills and keeping the conversation going, so I manage to juggle different topics at a time which will lengthen our discussion until hours if I feel like it..using my common sense and belief made-in-real-time, I'll attract their attention to continue talking with me..making sound and loud arguments have always been my main point in gaining interest..even if I am not too sure myself about the particular topic I'll just play around in a safe degree until I'm confident too venture even further..this particular chat log is a minor example of how it's used to be done by me -

afzrd001: toilet..

brb..

grafitti??

winfer_lianne: yeah. Toilet the famous place for student's graffiti

u know, conteng2

afzrd001: yeah..

uncivilezed art..

winfer_lianne: u've done this b4...don't u?

afzrd001: uncivilized..

nope..

I use proper pen n paper method..

winfer_lianne: yr friends will agree with me

u were one of the,

*them

afzrd001: i'm sure they'll agree with my arguments..

winfer_lianne: ok. sorry. kidding.

afzrd001: why??

reminiscing ur past glory??

winfer_lianne: woi !!

excuuusssee me

never

ever

tak pernah

afzrd001: so u say..

winfer_lianne: it's vandalisme.

afzrd001: it's more towards cruelty..

winfer_lianne: really? it's just for fun ..

no harm.. in the name of art.

afzrd001: so tell me the meaning of the word "cruel"..

maybe ur defining r diff from mine..

winfer_lianne: savage

afzrd001: ic..

just that then??

winfer_lianne: let see....cruel is deine as inhuman, violence, irrational thinking & behavior

may I add immature too?

criminal-like, gangsters.

afzrd001: ic ur poi..

winfer_lianne: whats yr definition?

afzrd001: zalim=tidak meletakkan sesuatu pd tempatnya..

learnt it long time ago..

winfer_lianne: ah. the islamic def.

says it all, huh?

dats v. good of u

afzrd001: most of my principles are established long ago..

when I can think straight n sound..

winfer_lianne: ok. I'm not so good in this, i prefer the logic & critical thinking.

might have the pillars, but for the sake of knowledge, i supposed

so yeah. my bad

afzrd001: y so..

life is an ongoing learning..

I mysf might still hv more to learn..

winfer_lianne: learn. is easy. to unlearn is not

what am i rambling about? haish.

afzrd001: habit..

winfer_lianne: got yr point.

gotta change the norms.

afzrd001: if that what we need to do then we should..

we can nvr be too sure about it ourselves..

winfer_lianne: deep~

afzrd001: lol..

winfer_lianne: :P

afzrd001: maybe I'll copy this chat log n post it for my next blog entry XD..

winfer_lianne: no. why should u ????

but it's a new idea....

afzrd001: just for fun..

why else..

so there you have it..saying I'm really good in communicating might be a bit much but I can keep the interest level high at all time..that's what you'll need the most when involving into an important conversation or just chatting with a friends..also if it's with someone u like, better try to keep that level terned on to the max so he/she will not get bored easily when talking with you..just sharing some tips here..even in works we sometimes need to communicate with other people which we have something to gain from them..so keeping the communication lively and heated is part of the way for us getting what we need from then..that's all for now then..

C&P IX

2009-11-10T19:22:00.004+08:00

Love's Curse

by Jessica L. Reed (GothsMourning)

She couldn't stand the silence,

She couldn't stand the tears,

She couldn't stand her life,

After only sixteen years.

He was her entire world,

She gave him all she possessed,

He did the same in return,

They were thought to be obsessed.

Their love couldn't be reached,

Couldn't be touched by any other,

They were all they needed,

They only wanted each other.

From two they became one,

They made each other whole,

They filled each other's voids,

They filled each other's souls.

Everything was perfect,

Everything was great,

Till one damning day,

They were told they'd have to wait.

Her parents were moving her,

To a distant place,

They'd be torn apart,

Couldn't see each other's face.

They swore they'd make it work,

Vowed to stay together,

Didn't care about the distance,

They'd be together forever.

She gave it all she had,

She did her very best,

But he still slipped away,

He didn't pass the test.

While she was thinking of him,

He had found another,

He said he couldn't do it,

He talked it over with his mother.

She was devastated,

Her heart was torn straight out,

She'd been such a fool,

She should have listened to her doubt.

From then on they stopped talking,

Never spoke again,

While he was with his new girl,

She was dreaming of him.

Every day she'd cry,

She tried to fight off all the pain,

But the hurting never stopped,

Just shot through every vein.

Months went by since the ending,

But she only grew worse,

She couldn't accept what happened,

This was love's curse.

It finally overtook her,

She couldn't stand it anymore,

She grabbed a picture of him,

And snuck out the front door.

She walked into the woods,

Found a secluded place,

Kept thinking of the past,

And how she'd been replaced.

Hours later she was found,

In a pool of her blood,

And beside her they found,

His picture in the mud.

On the back read her reason,

Why she took her life,

What he did to her,

It seemed he had held the knife.

Though physically he didn't kill her,

He tore her soul apart,

It was obvious how she did,

It was from a broken heart.

I had been keeping poems, articles or stories I found on the net for years..the one above is just one of the many more I had..I found it's a good habit to store things like this as I can read it again sometimes later when I'm bored..most of all, I can use them as a base material for a post, message or etc..it really paid off..by the way, the poem above is a very dark one..plus very long..hehe..maybe that's why I feel attracted to keep it with me all these years..lol..just kidding..I keep it as a reminder so I'll never be the one that hold the knife someday..but when I think back, maybe I've been playing with a few knives without me even realizing..

Timefull XD

2009-11-01T10:10:00.009+08:00

Is that really a word??well I don't care much..it's just a tittle anyway..I'll be having a lot of free times in this coming month or so I guessed XD..examination, practical, lectures and etc are all in the past now..the only thing left is this going on course..anyone familiar with the term KISSM??it's the acro for Kursus Induksi Sistem Saraan Malaysia..too lazy too translate so in my own simple words it'll be a course for introducing the working system..hurm, that didn't sounds close at all..don't bother about it..just a normal course I guess..full of talks for hours that for sure..and I recall hearing there will be an examination based on the content of the course at the end of this month..sigh, can't they let us go peacefully..heh..I would prefer an early holiday since this seems to be my last month as a student afterall..gonna be a working man starting December..sometimes it even feels unreal to me myself..but hey, life must go on..there's no stopping the flow of time anyway..eventhough I'll love to-

spent time with my classmate n friends..trips, bowling, karaoke or whatever..I don't mind..an,

all boys out sounded pretty nice anytime..although I prefer the company of some girls too..then,

maybe I'll join an outdoor camps..which I prefer much, much more over sitting for hours listening sleepily..so,

I can flung myself out into the wilderness seeking new knowledges and new adventures..or,

just chilling out by myself..thinking about what to do next and fantasizing how my future will be..

well..fantasy and reality would always found themselves contradicting each other..there's no helping to it then..better to tough it out until the end as usual..that's the stuff I'm made of anyway..good luck to me then =P

C&P VIII

2009-10-31T22:33:00.000+08:00

Siapakah orang yang sibuk ?
Orang yang sibuk adalah orang yang tidak
mengambil berat akan waktu solatnya
seolah-olah ia mempunyai kerajaan seperti
kerajaan Nabi Sulaiman a.s

Siapakah orang yang manis senyumanya?
Orang yang mempunyai senyuman yang manis
adalah orang yang ditimpa musibah
lalu dia kata "Inna lillahi wainna illaihi rajiuun." Lalu
sambil berkata,"Ya Rabbi Aku redha
dengan ketentuanMu ini", sambil mengukir
senyuman.

Siapakah orang yang kaya?
Orang yang kaya adalah orang yang bersyukur
dengan apa yang ada dan tidak lupa
akan kenikmatan dunia yang sementara ini.

Siapakah orang yang miskin?
Orang yang miskin adalah orang tidak puas
dengan nikmat yang ada sentiasa
menumpuk-numpukkan harta.

Siapakah orang yang rugi?
Orang yang rugi adalah orang yang sudah sampai
usia pertengahan namun masih berat
untuk melakukan ibadat dan amal-amal kebaikan.

Siapakah orang yang paling cantik?
Orang yang paling cantik adalah orang yang
mempunyai akhlak yang baik.

Siapakah orang yang mempunyai rumah yang
paling luas?
Orang yang mempunyai rumah yang paling luas
adalah orang yang mati membawa
amal-amal kebaikan di mana kuburnya akan di
perluaskan saujana mata memandang.

Siapakah orang yang mempunyai rumah yang
sempit lagi dihimpit?
Orang yang mempunyai rumah yang sempit
adalah orang yang mati tidak membawa amal
amal kebaikkan lalu kuburnya menghimpitnya.

Siapakah orang yang mempunyai akal?
Orang yang mempunyai akal adalah orang-orang
yang menghuni syurga kelak
kerana telah mengunakan akal sewaktu di dunia
untuk menghindari siksa neraka.

Siapakah org yg KEDEKUT ?
Orang yg kedekut ialah org yg membiar atau
membuang mesej ini begitu sahaja,
malah dia tidak akan menyampaikan pula pada
org lain.

at least I'm not too stingy XD

Test ur eyes on this..

2009-10-08T05:25:00.003+08:00

it's not moving you know XD

So it seems..

2009-10-08T02:46:00.008+08:00

girls hv so much demand from a boy..so I'll make it short and say I hv only 1 demand from girls..that is I want....

the girl to come up to me 1st..so that I can distinguish between the girls who's interesting n the types which bored me to death..I don't have time to mingle with both sides anyway..n by the end of it, maybe....

as simple as that..maybe(again)..hard to find statisfying girl..considered yourself lucky if I tilt my head over to look..

Ragnarok Onlining again ^^

2009-07-26T15:29:00.006+08:00

it's been a long since I last become involved in online gaming activities..sure was nostalgic thinking back to those days back then..nice, pleasant memories..haih..sure is nice to be younger..well, I'm not too old myself anyway..for those who doesn't have any idea whatsoever about what I'm saying here..go see for yourself then..the world where I indulged..hehe ^^

2nd week stories..

2009-07-18T20:41:00.003+08:00

haih..another tiring yet fun week had ended..unfortunately, there weren't much free food this time..except for the routine preschool break filler, I only got 2 lunches served before LADAP session..it's ok I guess since the allowance had finally banked into account so finance is blooming at this period of time..estimatedly, half of them will be gone for bills and outstanding club fees plus I'm wanting for a bigger storage disk..I just couldn't wait to start downloading anime again..pity 1 of my favourite link has gone bad..still, I had a few others to turn to this time..owh, and I wonder when will the network service come back to normal..it's more than a month now I think since the connection deteriorated..I wonder what the real cause for the problem is..haih..

anyway, school sure are nice..except for the lesson planning part since it is too much of a hassle..still it really helped during teaching..heh..can't believe I'm getting close to becoming a real teacher anytime soon..I'm in the middle of improving the group learning activities with my partner..I started by giving the group leaders each a bag containing learning utensils and the worksheets for each activities that requires them..since the children are quite advance this time of the year, I saw that they are capable of listening to instructions from their peers plus the leaders had good leadership abilities..well, nothing much compared to mine when I was their age though..it just mean I can slowly release their hand to start grasping things on their own..of course there are still need for guidance and nurturing along the way..haih..incompetent brats..it's time they stand on their 2 feet instead of leaning toward their teacher..

the preschool are still quite new..just opened this year to be accurate..so there are still things needed to be added to the learning utilities..small scissors and glues are nowhere to be seen which leaves me no choice but to get them myself..now that money is not yet a problem, I generously bought all those stationary myself..lucky kiddies..where on earth can they get a practical as loving and caring as me..well, until I get totally assessed that is..hehehe..kids are naive and innocent??I see only disastrous, noisy, ungrateful brats..they couldn't understand nor even bothered about the reason I had to sacrifice my sleeping time finishing the lesson plans for them..then wasting my ink catridges to print teaching aids also for them to have a great learning experience..all they knew is to make a ruckuss everytime and everywhere..they are such a hassle..damn 'gakki'..

oh yeah..been making some outlines for the mural inside of the preschool ground..had to teach those little kids dance steps for the preschool anual carnival..and then being selected to be in the Floria Competition, which requires teachers to build a small lanscape for a self-picked theme..that somehow concludes my second week of practical in SKPP14(1)..oh yeah, I made a lot of controvesional statements also..haih..wonder what will happen next..

bothersome +_+

2009-07-12T07:33:00.003+08:00

guess what I'm having now..stomachache..haih..must been from eating these expired bread I had in my room yesterday..they got some nice brownish fungi growing on some of them already but still that didn't bother me..until last night..guess I underestimate the poisoning capabilities those puny molt had in them..as a result, I had to be extremely rudely waken up by a sudden jolt of pain from my abdominal part and an insatiable call of the nature..and that happen repeatedly for five or six times already..so much for a good night sleep..haih..fortunately I'm quite prepared for this kind of situation already..a glass of warm milk really helped to lessen the uneasiness of my intestines and put my mind back into it's relaxed state..well, until further attack that is..

but what bother me the most is not this sort of normal malnutrition yet something which come from another field of science..more toward mystic and paranormal studies I suppose..around 3 o'clock(yes, this is a prime time for this sort of things to happen) I was suddenly woken up from my slumber..I felt someone or something just sat next to me on my bed..of course my sleepy brain came up with some blurred assumption that one of my friend must had decided to come crashing into my room for something..seems logical to me at that time and I decided to shut my eyes again and continue to sleep..but then I realized I couldn't move my body an inch..I came up with another sleepy assumption that my body must be numb and tried to change my sleeping position yet I still couldn't move anything part from my eyelids..I still didn't quite yet had my grasp onto the eerie reality which was around me at that moment..

then I felt that someone is watching me..maybe the person sitting next to me I suppose..by now I realized the deadly silent I heard in my room beside the sound of the ceiling fan working..my brain suddenly kick starts and analyzed the situation that within a few moments I became fully aware of the situation which I was unaware of a few 10-15 seconds ago..haha..it was funny when I think about it now..

1)the fact I'm now living alone in my room

2)my friends were soundly sleeping in their own rooms when I woke up because of the stomach pain earlier

3)it was so silent that it was actually kinda unnatural back then

4)my brain was so foggy I didn't realise at all what it was really happening

so that 'thing' was sitting next to me staring right at my back and I couldn't move a limb even thought I tried to..how uncool is that??my mind was racing to find a way to react while my ears keep on trying to catch any sound of movement from beside me..all that I know is 'it' is there, watching..the pressure I felt on my mattress suggest that it is still doing nothing over there..with the tension and frustation building inside, I told my body to move and turn around so I can look the culprit which is disrupting my sleep and forcing it way into my private space eye to eye(if it has it then)..tried as I might I couldn't budge an inch as if some unknown force was numbing my whole being and it wasn't fear..I had a taste of that long ago and it's nothing like what I was facing now and here..I keep on pushing my body urging them to move and finally my leg suddenly break free and I thrust it instinctively to where I assume 'it' was..thus I felt the pressence beside me dissapeared and my foot fail to connect what I thought it will but some other stuff I put on my bed and that send them flying across the floor..

I turned around quickly hoping to see some form of the 'thing' which was bugging me but it had just left I guess..I couldn't even sense it presence anywhere in the room by then..whatever it was, it was not malicious but more toward curiousity-driven or maybe a bit cheeky..as for me, well that add up another one to my current rate of encounter with the third kind..yeah, I had a bunch of similar experience already..some are even terrifying to remember..what it was??what it want??I have absolutely no idea..but I'll try to keep in mind to ask that if I manage to trigger it interest to visit me again in the future..or maybe..visiting you will come in next for it..tell him I said "hi" ok..hehe ^^

p/s: now that I think of it..it's not so bothersome actually..there are other which is more bothering than this..haih

3rd Practical-1st week..

2009-07-12T06:44:00.003+08:00

kids in putrajaya p14(1) sure are strange..for the 1st time ever I met some who prefer given works to do than allowed to play as much as they like..strange isn't??could there be something wrong with their train of thought, I wonder..but then again, I couldn't care less..for as far as I'm concerned..as long as this six weeks went well then I've nothing to complained about..maybe I'll study them as part of my course assignment required..right now, it's much more important to put back my teaching gear into action and shape those little dwellers like I used to do in the past..haih..gonna be a bit tough now since there is a hyperactive kid in clase and a few underages children as well..these immature brats is like a time bomb without a definite way to determine when they'll explode and cause a ruckuss..still, nothing a slight raise of tone and a murderous stare couldn't handle for now..

on the other hand, the school is very nice..I got plenty to eat everyday and that saved food my allowance very much..just what I need to lighten up my tight account until my next payday..huhu..can't wait to get my hand on huge sum of cash to spend again..

p/s:my school is kinda active as well..so many activities planned for each days forcing me to stay at school until evening..then again, since that means more free things to eat then I just couldn't complain about it..^^

Still in the Laziness =_=

2009-06-25T21:25:00.001+08:00

laziness..one of my main weaknesses..haih..can't help it when having this kind of feeling..an urge to lay down and laze around day and night..I guess I'm still in the mood for holiday..such a bother..well that's it for now..hehehe =P

p/s: enjoy my c&p then..hehe =P

C&P VII

2009-05-29T22:58:00.003+08:00

Does Your Name Fit You??

TRY IT...

A: Likes to flirt.
B: Likes to talk.
C: Really likes to chill.
D: Is one of the best personalities
ever.
E: Good Kisser
F: People adore you.
G: Never let people tell you what to
do.
H: Has a very good personality and
looks.
I: Is always there for friends
J: Lives life for fun.
K: Really silly.
L: Loved by everyone
M: makes dating fun
N: Dead sexy
O: Best in realtionships
P: Popular with all types of people
Q: A hypocrite.
R: Freakin crazy
S: Easy to fall in love with.
T: a sweet heart.
U: Really wild and crazy.
V: Not judgemental.
W: Very broad minded.
X: Never let people tell you what to do
Y: One of the best bf/gf anyone could
ask for.
Z: Always ready

mine is AHMAD FIKRI..
which mean I:
like flirting, have good look and personalities(I'm flattered), makes dating fun, is one of the best ever, adorable, always there for friends(I wonder), really silly and freaking crazy(hahaha)..
what about u??

c&p VI

2009-05-24T15:03:00.002+08:00

so what about guys you say..read it yourself..

WHEN A GUY

When a guy calls you,
he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine, "
after a few minutes,
he means it

When a guy stares at you,
he wishes you would care about him and
wonders if you do

When you're laying your head on a guy's
chest,
he has the world

When a guy calls you everyday,
he is in love

When a (good) guy tells you he loves
you,
he means it

When a guy says he can't live without
you,
he's with you till your done

When a guy says, "I miss you, "
he misses you more than you could have
ever missed him or anything else

or so they say..
hehehe..
^_^

c&p V

2009-05-24T14:55:00.004+08:00

haven't been posting for quite a time now..so here some C&P from my personal collection..

When a girl bumps into your arm...

When a girl bumps into your arm
while walking she wants
you to hold her hand

When she wants a hug
she will just stand there

When u break a girls heart,
she still feels it when
u run into each other 3 years later

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through
her mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes
full of questions,
she is wondering how long you will be
around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine, "
after a few seconds,
she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are so
wonderful.

When a girl lays her head on your
chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers
forever.

When a girl says that she can't live
without you,
she has made up her mind that you are
her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you, "
no one in this world can miss you more
than that

When a girl is mean to you after a
breakup
she wants you back, but she's
scared she'll get hurt and knows
you're gone forever

is it really so, girls??
hehehe..

Battlefield..when the guns crossed the roses +_+

2009-04-21T21:24:00.004+08:00

Don't mind the tittle..I'm just feeling a bit light headed right now..so I had to let some steam out of my foggy brain..haih..that's better..if you are still wondering what the tittle had to do with this thing I'm trying to write now, I remind you not to mind it..it's just there for the show..now, here is what really happen today..I went P.A.I.N.T.B.A.L.L.I.N.G..hehehe ^^

"waiting for the briefing"

that was the first time ever I played this extreme game..I only saw it on the web or the TV before this and been wanting to join it for so long..but never had the chance..and finally, today came..hurray for me =)..the game I played was exhilarating, suspense, thrilling and also can bring some pain once in a while..I myself sustained three minor injuries to my fingers and a small bruise on my left arm..all my the other parts remain safe and intact..those injuries came from taking shot upon the unprotected areas..ouchie..but hey..no pain no gain they always say..for those who can afford to leave a mark on their fragile body, then I advise you not to join this game..or if you are rich enough, get a full plate armor..other than that, GAME ON!!!

"trying to strike a pose here"

diabled T_T

2009-04-19T01:25:00.002+08:00

no..I'm not disabled person except for my emo-less side..other than that of course I'm as healthy as always..well, the problem is my notebook just broke down..for the past 3 and a half years, it had been my sole source for entertainment, information and surely in working..now that it is unable to operate, how am I going to do all that by myself..still, until it can be fixed I guess I had to run this life as a one man show..I never realized how attached I became with that thing really..haih..so smell u guys later..

A breather..

2009-04-10T19:15:00.002+08:00

this past few days..I've been really busy with asignments..so much have been done yet there seemed many needs to be done..hehehe..take a pack of assesment, put in some drops of traditional play, mix them with with a hearty cup of creativity show flavour..finally, blend it together with the hours of the night..there you have it, my diet for exhaustion..hahaha..after a couples of sleepless (less in very short) finally my fellow comrades and I can finally get our well-paid rest..or maybe not..huhuhu T_^

a very toughtful story ^^

2009-04-08T22:51:00.004+08:00

This story had been with me for such a long time..I often read it and then imagined how it will happen in real life..those vivid images ussualy felt very warm and touching..and so, here it is..the story which I didn't know its title..

John Blanchard stood up from the bench straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose.
His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes pencilled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind.
In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort he located her address. She lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II.
During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was budding. Blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked like.
When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting - 7:00 PM at the Grand Central Station in New York. "You'll recognise me," she wrote, "by the red rose I'll be wearing on my lapel." So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he'd never seen.
I'll let Mr. Blanchard tell you what happened: A young woman was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. I started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As I moved, a small, provocative smile curved her lips. "Going my way, sailor?" she murmured. Almost uncontrollably, I made one step closer to her, and then I saw Hollis Maynell.
She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A woman well past 40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes.
The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. I felt as though I was split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned me and upheld my own. And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate. My fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to identify me to her.
This would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be grateful. I squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman, even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment. "I'm Lieutenant John Blanchard, and you must be Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to dinner?" The woman's face broadened into a tolerant smile. "I don't know what this is about, son," she answered, "but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!"
It's not difficult to understand and admire Miss Maynell's wisdom. The true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unattractive. "Tell me whom you love," Houssaye wrote, "And I will tell you who you are."

so..what do you think..pretty nice isn't..hahaha ^^

c&p IV

2009-04-04T00:34:00.000+08:00

belasungkawa

alfatihah untuk bapa kepada Faezah Hanim yang telah pulang ke rahmatullah selepas isya' tadi. semoga rohnya ditempatkan di kalangan hamba-hambaNya yang beriman. semoga Hanim tabah dalam menghadapi ujian Allah ini. kami sentiasa bersama kamu.

amin.

alfatihah.

http://thepreschooltroopers.blogspot.com/

Having a blast ^^

2009-03-31T00:07:00.004+08:00

Earlier today, I participated in the annual Closed IPIS Bowling Tournament organized by the bowling club members..well actually, the advisor was the one doing most or the organizing works but I should give credit to the club members as well..after all, they are all still in their foundation program..so it might be the first time they had to come up with something like this..hehehe..anyway, as I recall back my last involvement with such activities I realized that the only time I had ever win a place in the tournament was back when I joined for the first time..I was ranked as number 8..and after that, my records had gone down the gutter until it reached the bottom last year..I couldn't get at least 100 pins knock down for each frame in the last tournament..it was really not my day I guess..hahaha +_+

but today, I mean yesterday now, I could say that I had played my best game ever..I started pretty well with 137 pins for my 1st frame..but the real deal came during my second play..after wasting the 1st 3 throws, I was awarded 6 consecutive strikes..yes, I repeat I got SIX strikes in a row..this propelled my point towards 190 pins score..my best play in quite a while..for the record, I managed to get 199 once last year with almost the same style as then..for the 3rd round, I had already ran out of juice and could only get 138 pins knocked down for that time..anyway, this total up my score to 465 pins for this tournament..my best achievement ever it was..hehehe ^_^

I'm really glad I joined the tournament this year, even thought I had a slight problem making u my decission to join because of financial issue..but in the end, it really paid off..compared to the other veteran players, I still have a long way to go before I can reach 200 pins yet I'm still grateful for this momment of glory..it's not everyday someone like me could get this kind of score..I was really statisfied with myself..for now..haha ^^

borrowed time..

2009-03-29T11:23:00.004+08:00

I don't know how much I'm given here..the only thing I'm certain, every passing second slowly chipping away at these time..how long still I have to live??when will my life comes to an end??those question are very critical yet I'm always forgetting about them..such ignorance..I couldn't fathom how many days I have to live..but I must live everyday to the fullest..praying I will still be here tomorrow..

p/s: the label and the tittle of this post contadict each other..hahaha XD

Sitting on the edge of a cliff..

2009-03-26T22:58:00.002+08:00

That's the situation I always have to go through..I found myself on the edge off a cliff not far away from the hectic, consuming land of works, works and more works while underneath me is a beautiful lagoon surrounded by sharp, pointing, jagged rocks waiting for me to fall..if I stay on the land, sooner or later I will be dragged to work under the hot, scorching sun..but if I try to jump into the cool, blue lagoon under me, I may not make it and end up impaled by the spiking rocks..even if I landed safely into the lagoon, I cannot stay inside it forever for I'll need to go back under the sun to work and make a living..haih..I guess, this is life..

Girls & Apples..both I'll bite..

2009-03-23T20:20:00.001+08:00

I'm not stupid enough as to pick up stenching, rooten apple..they are filled with germs which can be harmful..yet, I'm lazy enough not to climb up the apple trees to find the best apple there is on that tree..so I guess I'll lie down and wait, for an apple, ripe and ready to eat to fall off from its place right into my hands..cause I know, this is the one for me..

The Law of Ueki

2009-03-21T20:18:00.002+08:00

Just thinking about sharing something..suddenly I had the urge to do something for my blog here..haih..so here it is..this story revolved around Kousuke Ueki, a student of the Hinokuni Junior High School..He is actually picked by a God Candidate, Koba-sen(a heavenly being disguising as a teacher of the school), to participate in a competition where people battle out to become God and only the strongest will prevail..All of this god candidate will then bestow upon these chosen children 1 unique power for them to use in this battle..Embodied with the ability to turn garbage into trees, Kousuke will be joining in the battle against other junior high school students in this selection..Helping him with his fight is Ai Mori, the girl up there, self-proclaimed manager of Kousuke Ueki. Later he will be accompanied by a few more people but I'll let you see it for yourself then, in his fight to protect the world from the dark scheme of evil.. this anime has a total episodes of 51..The genres are adventure, comedy, drama, shounen, supernatural..you can download it for free at this site http://www.animeupload.com/free-downloads/474.html

the ost are also kinda nice..you be the judge..

the opening:

the ending:

Tagged by aneem

2009-03-09T13:13:00.003+08:00

"U're tagged!Go this website and do the quiz. Next, post the result without changing anything.Tag another 5 people once u're done!"

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

(honest??don't think so..I really dislike conflict..the negative auras affect me greatly)

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

(huh..figures)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

(in my case..I don't think I'm the best choice for anyone)

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

(so true..I like flirting with girls..you can join EFC if you like)

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

(enjoying myself is the top priorities)

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

(huh?!that make it sound like I'm supposed to be a sportsman..)

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

(I guess so..)

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

(I don't agree with the anger part..I'm not showing any emotions when facing that kind of situation..so people tend to think that I'm cool..)

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

(I'm a nacarcist..what else can you expect??)

like hell I'll follow the instruction given..they are not the boss of me..so I've changed the answer several time..to find the most suited explanation to my personalities..fyi, if you want to take the test then be my guest..it's your choice..hehe ^^

Salam MaulidurRasul

2009-03-09T12:11:00.001+08:00

Dapatkan Mesej Bergambar di Sini

c&p from http://testi.iluvislam.com/

change for the better..I hope..

2009-03-08T23:54:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, I spent half of my allowance registering to a fitness centre for a specific course..I think this is the first time ever I'd taken a drastic step in my whole life(since it's about money, you know)..with a lot of things going on right now, I can say that was not a very appropriate decision to have been made but nevertheless it was a decision I had to make..since there had been a goal I couldn't achieve for the past few years now I'm resorting to this one final bet..I don't know how I'll fare in the future but I'll make sure to find some ways to manage myself for at least until this August..I must admit it was like I had made a blunder but I wouldn't say I was wrong to make it..more importantly, I need to face what will be coming ahead of me in this near future..haih +_=

Once Upon A Time in Putrajaya..

2009-02-23T20:09:00.002+08:00

Last weekend, me and a bunch of my friends went to Putrajaya to participate in a futsal tournament..it was my first time entering an event of this kind actually..in the past, I only play soccer or futsal inside my institute in the evening or if there are closed tournament held by the student's group..anyway, since it was my first time I ever joining, I felt surged by all king of emotions althought I didn't show any of it on the outside..I was thrilled, excited at the fact that I'm playing in an open game..I'm scared, anxious for not having much skills and experiences in the game..I'm sad since I couldn't play with the volleyball team since both match started on the same day..I'm happy, glad because I'm there with a bunch of friends who had faith in me..
the competitions was held for 2 days, saturday and sunday..since about 48 teams entered the tournament, the 1st day was given for thegroup match..there was 3 teams inside each group which mean only 1 team from each group will need to be taken out of the match..our team had to wait for a long time until our turn arrives..and to my amazement, we had 2 complete victory for every match that day..I couldn'tbelieve it when I first set my eyes toward the other teams we had to face..mostly they had a better built-body than me and seems much more skilled with the ball than me, again..but I refuse to give in to the fact of my incompetency and tried to perform my best during each game we played..with the help of my fellow team members, we succeded in the 1st round as a group champion..not too shabby..
on to the next day..we had a much tougher opponents that day..during the 1st match, my shoes gave up on me on the second half of the game..this rendered me unable to play since I didn't bring any spares one..even so, we had already taken the lead during the 1st half and manage to maintain the momentum through out the game..it was during the best 16 match that our journey was finally halted..it was a pity really..early in the game we manage to scored one goal and taken the lead yet again..but we couldn't maintain that lead and when the final whistle blow we were beaten 3-1..still, it was unexpected for us to last this long in the match..I had a pleasent experience all the way till the end..many thanks to all my mates..it was fun playing along side them all..
hehehe ^^

copy & paste II

2009-02-19T20:51:00.002+08:00

On criticizing
Author: nfarhana
•8:24 AM

While I appreciate comments on this blog, they are moderated and any that are negative will not be posted. If you try hard enough you can find something bad about everything. But the reverse is true as well, if you try hard enough you can also find good in everything, and that is purpose of all of my blogs.

Criticizing and condemning the information here is not going to change my view on the world. When stating your opinions, please ask yourself...
Does this achieve the goal I intended?
Did this bring peace to anyone?
Did my comments hurt someone else?
Does my opinion change reality in any way?
Are my words helpful or hurtful?

taken from http://firyal-hikmah.blogspot.com/2009/02/on-criticizing.html

I simply put it here..for us to ponder..about what we say, n how we suppose to say it..hehe =P

Sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit..

2009-02-19T20:43:00.003+08:00

sebagai manusia, kadang2 kiter terluka..
ssebagai manusia juga, kadang kite melukakan..

sebagai manusia, selalu kita berkata..
sebagai manusia juga, selalu kita mengata..

sebagai manusia, ada masa kita bersedih..
sebagai manusia juga, ada masa kita menyedihkan..

sebagai manusia, kita rasa best..
sebagai manusia juga, kita perasan best..

sebagai manusia, acapkali kita terlupa..
sebagai manusia juga, acapkali kita melupakan..

sebagai manusia, menjadi pujangga..
sebagai manusia juga, terjadi pujangga..
saje aku menulis..sekadar mengisi masa terluang..hehehe =P

Sport's Festival is Back..

2009-02-16T14:25:00.004+08:00

earlier this morning..I went to a meeting of my sport house..I was a bit late because of some work and the meeting were already underway when I arrived..most of the faces I saw in there were still the familiar faces which I had seen last year during the sport festival..f.y.i, I didn't attend the meeting last year because....I totally forgoten about it I think..hahaha..anyway, due to my active participant this year, I was majorly voted as the representative of my batch members..it isn't so bad compared to my friend who had to be the head of his house..such a hassle really..well, luckily the sport's day is about 2 months away from now..so I don't think much will have to be done about it for now..
actually, I manage to win a gold medal and 1 bronze medal last year..to bad I couldn't participate in my 3rd event because of last minute injuries..but for this year, I think maybe I'm gonna go all out right from the start..or maybe.....I'll just slack off until the actual day and win at least one medal as a keepsake..hahaha =P

copy & paste I

2009-02-15T11:50:00.002+08:00

"sapi, GO!"

tak pernah aku menonton film animasi di panggung. buat pertama kali tradisi itu dipecahkan. paling klasik ia adalah sebuah animasi 3 dimensi made in Malaysia. lokal. bukanlah juga peminat penuh setia dua kembar nakal upin dan ipin, tetapi setelah menonton GENG, penuh tertarik dengan keletah dan gelagat si nakal-nakal itu. berbaloi. sangat berbaloi menonton film yang genre-nya tak pernah sekali aku tonton di layar perak. ketawa dan terus ketawa dari mula sampai habis 90 minit itu. bangga aku melihat satu panggung penuh dengan penonton-penonton, pencinta film melayu. julung kali aku menonton film melayu, film malaysia yang panggungnya penuh sungguh. engkau mungkin jelek dengan film melayu, lebih-lebih lagi untuk ditonton di layar perak. engkau mungkin sangat selesa menonton film-film asing, film-film yang engkau agungkan. film yang penuh adegan bercium mulut. atau berkata 'ah!' untuk film animasi di panggung. engkau mungkin selalu berkata tidak berbaloi menonton film-film lokal di layar perak. engkau mungkin kata film melayu bukan karya. sampah. engkau telah silap!

rajoo : ipin, cuba pikir masa depan!

muthu : mak uda, cuba pikir masa depan!

engkau baca dua ayat ini tak kelakar, bukan? then, tonton lah sendiri!

this article was copied from http://dzulhakimbaharom.blogspot.com/?zx=46456e6bc4927199

The End..

2009-02-11T20:15:00.007+08:00

not my end..but the student council which I'm in was officially disbanded yesterday..all that left there is the memmories that my comrades and I shared from the times we spent together for those past 10 months..here they are:

back(from the left) : ain, mariam, hannan, farahin, razlinda, aina, eliza, azizah, syakirah, syahidah, muslihah

front: yazid, zaki, fahmi, hadi, yasir, firdaus, faiz, me, kamil, munsif, nik azman, zaihan

I enjoyed my stay with these guys..

last trip to Malacca..

2009-02-11T12:14:00.007+08:00

I went to Malacca about 2 weeks ago..nothing changes much except I was there with most of my classmates..since I'm still not in the mood for writing, I'll put some of the pictures here then..after all, a picture is worth a thousand word right..so let them speak for themselves..

me with a buch of crocodiles from the farm..they are quite open to people as you can see..

on board the river cruise..
(I can still remember the distinct aroma from the river)

blending away into the darkness..

I spy with my two eyes..

my group..

feeling a bit light-headed..up, up n away..

hehehe..my lucky day..

this was take at Mini Malaysia's stage..

playing at sagil waterfall..

guess what..

jungle troopers..roll out..

Two Eclipses..

2009-02-09T19:49:00.003+08:00

just about a month ago we had solar eclipse..now it's lunar eclipse turn to darken our night..man, what a time we are living in..is it the sign of appocalypse getting closer..or is it just pure coincidence they relayed in such short time..what ever the truth maybe, I think it is a sign..an omen that our time on this beloved earth of ours is nearing its end..sooner or later, all the things in the earth and the sky shall be....gone..I wonder if I'll see it with my own eyes or not..I wonder..

Menjadi mesin translator..BESTA kah aku??

2009-01-28T02:21:00.002+08:00

arie tue pensyarah aku ade la bagi "sedikit" bahan untuk dialihbahasa dari BI-BM kepada kelas aku..so kitorg pn bahagi la sorg sket bahan yang dibagi tue..last-last biler aku tgk blk btul2, kitorang kena translate dari buku yang memang tinggi bahasa akademiknye siap ngan term-term dan laras bahase yang boleh tahan mencabar gk la..so skang nie aku tengah mentranslate bahagian yang dibagi pada aku la nie..Xde la banyak sangat, dalam 6 helai depan belakang jer..br setel setengah page yang pertame jer aku dah mengalihbahsekn 410 pth perkataan tanpa sedar..pasal tulisan dier kecik-kecik jer..aku wat dalam word ngan font times new roman 12 single pn dh abis satu muka full..aku pikir-pikir la kn, kalo sorang dapat purata 6 helai darab ngan 16 orang dalam kelas aku nie..dh dapat 96 helai btul tak..watpe plak dier srh ktorg translate byk2 nie kalo stakat nk gune dlm klas..ktorg pn dh mmg syak dh kot2 ade udang disebalik mee psl dlue mmg dh terkena ngan sorg pnsyrh len..nk wt thesis bg ktorg bhn srh translate..byk cantekkk..ingat aku nie BESTA ke ape..tp ape pn aku nk tunggu dan lihat jer dlue..bersangka baik la kn..X elok pikir bkan2 psl pensyarah nnt X berkat ilmu dier ajar kt aku..
so kesimpulannya, aku tgh dh jam sket mentranslate nie sbenarnye..sajer la nk release tension sket kt smbl memblogging..haa~~..lega sket rase..

Haih..tale of the wasted..T_T

2009-01-27T15:34:00.005+08:00

So the story began..I woke up late this morning..I promised to send a friend of mine to the LRT station but since I woke up late, I broke my promise then..so that one thing wasted early in the morning for me..then I had planned to jog around the field also EARLIER this morning but yet again I couldn't..in case you are wondering why, that's because when I woke up the time was already 11.34 am..no one sane enough to jog under the burning sensation of the afternoon sunlight..a waste of effort on the planning..so after my late awakening I go to the bathroom and so on until after Zuhur prayer..not wanting to waste my bread which will expires tomorrow, I had them for a lite,simple lunch..nothing goes wrong there..so you are guessing all turns well then, right??
It would have been if I hadn't be so enthusiastic about doing some homework and finishing my files for my class when I realized my printer ran out of ink..it just happen to be that I read an email from a computer shop which I'm registered as a member wishing me happy CNY and advertising some New Year's promotion..thinking my broadband bills were also due for two month now I guess I'll just go to Alamanda, buy a new cartridge and settle the bills at the same time..killing two birds with one stone..and so I rode my bike for about 10 minutes to Alamanda and then make some withdrawal from the ATM..feeling high and mighty with all the cash I had I rode the escalator up the next floor and I turned..
The Maxis centre was closed!!aw man..for some reason which never came across my mind earlier the centre closed for two days..and then I walked quickly across toward the other end of the complex..inside, I had a feeling the same thing that happened with the centre will happen yet a second time..when I reached there, guess what..right, my instinct was damn right..the shop was also closed for the same reason as the centre earlier..what a BIG waste of time and effort..some of the quick-thinking people must already know why both of them were closed but I will say it anyway..it is Chinese New Year and they are celebrating it unlike me who only felt it as another weekend holiday..haih..see how much was wasted on one day..
before I went back, I take out my stressed on the arcade's punching machine and super shooter..I still couldn't break my record of 98 pound punch yet I managed to beat the first boss anyway..then I found two new comics for me so it cheered me up again..I just hope nothing else get wasted on this jinxed day..huhuhu T_T

moral of the story : don't wake up late and don't ever break a promise you make..

Nearly forgotten..

2009-01-26T10:33:00.005+08:00

like I said earlier..I nearly forgotten about an important event that will occur today..guess what..the solar eclipse is going to happen again today..my, the second time it's occurring in my lifetime..our prophet RASULULLAH SAW said;

إن الشمس والقمر ايتان من ايات الله لا ينكسفان لموت أحد ولا لحيات فإذا رأيتم ذلك فصلوا وادعوا حتى ينكسف ما بكم
meaning:" the sun and the moon are two symbols of might of Allah taala, both their eclipse are not cause by the death of someone and by the life of someone..So then, when you saw the eclipse occurs, perform the salaat and pray(dua') until gone what had befallen you that is the darkness wrath..(hadith from Muslim)

so let's all look into it..and for those who doesn't know how to perform the salaat for this event(includes me) then you can surf these links for detail..

http://www.lingkudau.net/Siaran/sunat-gerhana.htm
http://ustazazhar.com/v1/lain-lain/solat-sunat-gerhana.html

To be or not to be..

2009-01-26T10:13:00.003+08:00

I'm out of spirit right now..feels like lazying around all day long again..having such free times, I ought to start working on my many assignments and finishing my thesis but..jeez, I sure hate working hard..that's why I'll keep lazying around all the time..what this had to do with the tittle??hurm..none so whatever I think..it just came out of the blue earlier on..or maybe it has a hidden meaning sent by the unconscious part of my mind..telling me to clean up my act and then make up my mind about what to do..haih, such a nosey conscience I have..so what should I do then..I've been thinking about going to the movies but not alone..since nobody can go with me so I think I'll just cancel the thought..man, times like this I wish I had a girl..next up is, nothing..guess I'll end up lazying all day long then..on such a fine day too..haihz~~

Aku & Boikot..

2009-01-25T11:07:00.003+08:00

Dah lame sangat kempen memboikot barangan yahudi dan amerika dijalankan..tp kadang-kadang aku masih menyinggah ke kedai-kedai makanan segera seperti KFC dan juga MCD..aku nampak masih banyak lagi kaum keluarga Melayu yang masih duduk bergembira di kedai-kedai tersebut..agaknya mereka masih tak nampak lagi berapa besarnya kesan projek boikot ini kepada pengusaha-pengusaha produk makanan segera itu..sebab tulah diorang buat endah tak endah jer pada laungan memboikot ini..
Jadi apa kata aku berkongsi satu fakta, tentang ape yang berlaku disekitar aku sendiri akibat daripada boikot yang dilakukan oleh rakan-rakan kita disekitar kawasan Bangi ini..syarikat pengeluaran makanan segera tersebut saban hari membuang ban-ban yang tidak laku dijual ke kawasan pembuangan sampah di situ..jumlah roti ban yang terpaksa dibuang oleh mereka juga bukanlah sekadar satu atau dua ketul semata-mata malahan beratus-ratus banyaknya..rekod terbaru yang saya perolehi adalah sebanyak 400 lebih roti ban tersebut terpaksa dicurahkan ke tong sampah akibat bilangan pengunjung yang kian berkurangan setelah restoran itu diboikot oleh sebahagian masyarakat yang sedar di sekitar Bangi ini..itu baru cerita sekitar Bangi..di kawasan lain macam mana??
Kalau nak tahu pergilah berkunjung ke kawasan pembuangan sampah berdekatan yang selalu dikunjungi oleh lori syarikat terbabit..kalau keadaan ini masih berlarutan, tak lama lagi mungkin kita tak perlu lagi mengeluarkan wang untuk dibelanja bagi merasai produk makanan tersebut tetapi hanya sekadar menunggu di pintu belakang restoran mereka untuk memperolehi hasil yang tidak laku pada hari itu..makan percuma la kita hari-hari nanti..golongan fakir miskin pun bole merasa makanan yang dikira mewah oleh mereka itu..
Jadi apa yang ditunggu lagi..mari kita sama-sama memboikot..hasilnya bukan setakat ekonomi Israel dan Amerika jatuh, Palestin dapat keadilan malahan kita pun boleh selalu dapat produk yang percuma..lumayan bukan..

A bit humanitarian..For Palestine..

2009-01-21T20:29:00.004+08:00

while surfing the www just now searching for some material about the Israeli-Palestine war, I came across a simple poem..it was created by someone by the name of Datong Liu..his poem was created in regard of what is happening in the devastated land of Palestine..and while I was reading this poem of him, suddenly I felt intrigued by the fact that it never occured to me to write any kind of article regarding the injustice which befallen my bretheren there in Palastine..given the ability to think and write various topic, having the gadget which can help voice my thought out to the world, living a safe and quite life in my country, I had abandon the fact that there is other thing which I can do for the Palastine people beside donating spare changes and feeling sympathy for their suffering whenever I came across news about them..I realized how far I had pushed them away from my heart until I felt there is nothing I could do to help them..this is so wrong..I had let myself be damned but I'm not about to let anyone else fall under the cruel grips of my enemies..so I call upon myself, and those who feel they can do a bit more than sharing money and grief to raise up and put your thought and feelings into words..I kow there are already a lot of other people in the whole world doing the exact same thing that I'm starting to do but they are not me nor you.. ask yourself this question, what else can you do??

you don't have to panic run into cover each time you hear a heli's motor roaring by..

Here is the poem which I mentioned earlier..I don't think the author will mind if I shared it with other people so I c&p it to my page..

~Poem For Palastine~

And everywhere I looked I saw pain
Mothers' angry eyes, fathers loosing sanity,
Grandfathers digging for tomorrow
Finding his grandson without a breath,
I hear the cries of babies, mothers, fathers, families, and bombs.
Silent malnutritioned children
Trying to save their breath for tomorrow
Their skin, like spandex covering a defeated skeleton
Eyes wondering without hope, not knowing why
Not even having the notion of thinking of cause and effect
No more tears to cry, just hungry
Peace corps tired and hopeless wondering why there are so many
House that used to shelter the warm love of a family
Shattered like glass against the concrete of democracy
Bridges that once symbolize our connection, broken
A child pulled at my pants and spoke in a foreign tongue "Sa'edni"
And no translation was needed
Eyes blinking tears, I hugged my fellow human being
And my head went to the WMD paid by US tax dollars
And all I could think was "why?"

by Datong Liu

I can't imagine this kind of sight must really felt..

I might never make an impact with this small thing which I'm doing..yet this is what I'll do..all that I can do..as me..

Looking Into The Future..

2009-01-05T10:42:00.005+08:00

2008 is over and here comes 2009..My, my..it has been 23 years already since I was first born into this world..a period which I myself doesn't know wether it's already long or short..and I'm not even sure if I'll ever be living my life to the fullest..even so, what I can do for now strive forward..like I had always do back then..

snorkeling vs snorekling..

2008-12-29T23:00:00.002+08:00

during my last visit to the beach a few days ago, I went snorkeling..which was my 1st time actually..I had never participate in any activities involving being under water for a long period of time beside this holding-breath-under-the-water competition which usually held during short trips to the beach with a bunch of friends..this involve a group of guys and sometime girls also try to held their breath under the water too see which one of them that could do so for as the longest period..haah~ it sure bring back memories..good times, good times..anyway, unlike the usual snorkeling activities which we done in the open seas, I snorkeled in a man-made pool which was filled with salt-water from the sea and more or the less a simple under water ecosystem..this include marine life such as multiple kind of fishes, one sea turtle, man made corals and a few sunken tires and ship..well not the big kind of ship really..it was just a normally seen fisherman's boat a.k.a the "sampan"..I had plenty of fun inside there..watching, feeding, touching the fishes give me a lot of ease in both mind and heart..it makes me forget about the harsh, hot land..wonder if we could build a utopia inside of this cold, serenading, under water world..
moving on to snorekling..yes this is a word which seems quite similar but have another kind of meaning..this term comes from the root word "snore" which is used to show an act of snoring during sleep..and of course, I made it up myself to spice up the title a little bit..don't use this word in an academic writing..I used it to show the wonderful and relaxing holiday I am having right now..which I spent most of the time on my bed..but I don't snore while I'm sleeping of course..I exaggerate the tittle a little bit..
seems like this will be my final post for this year..not pretty much to covered up another year ending..well like I care..
hehehe
^_^

seeking for a lifetime's companion??

2008-11-30T19:23:00.004+08:00

I went to yet another one of my friend marriage ceremony yesterday..it seems more of the people that I used to know have started moving onto the next level in life..the life of marriage..heh, some of them are already in the world of parenthood right now with two kids..people around my age group are all starting to leave their singleness and share their world with another person..now they have one more pair of ears which listen to their worries and problems instead of their own..while I'm still licking my own wound they already have someone to dress their injuries and soothes the pain..they chat with each other, holding hand happily and I'm just talk to myself with my hands deep inside my pocket..and much more had they gained from this life of marriage..I wish them happiness from the bottom of my empty heart..

I can just wonder, if I'll ever find my own happiness like theirs..when I am....me..well whatever will be will be, I suppose..right now, I still had a long road ahead of me without a slightest idea of when or how it will end..even whitout someone to hold my hand and accompany me through my journey, I must carry on..dragging my boredom on my back..

hahaha
^_^

side notes: this is not an advertisement for an ice breaking..

0 existence

2008-11-27T23:22:00.005+08:00

the title above is suppose to be read as 'zero existence'..just so you know..

laying back on my bed with ruffled bedsheet and comforter..I raise my arm high and then put it across my face..haih~~what am I doing??thinking about myself, wandering through my fantasies, getting lost in thought, fathoming what my future will be..all this while laying motionlessly on the crumpled bed cloth..
so much for holidays..I'll be spending most of the time I have on bed as ussual..while my friends and colleagues probably making use of their time with family bonding, trips and dates, I will be here on my bed for 3/4 of my daily life..I'm not sick, involved in accident or whatever..this is just what I do during my free times..shifting back into the shadow..relaxing..rejuvenating..hibernating and so on..

haaaahhhh~~this is life..

hehehe
^_^

Melayu!!

2008-11-10T19:49:00.002+08:00

Ini terbitan pertama aku dalam BM untuk blog ni..sebab utamanya adalah,aku nak menulis tentang bangsa aku dan aku tak nak gunakan bahasa lain untuk itu..jadi aku pun guna bahasa yang boleh difahami oleh semua golongan yang berada di dalam rumpun Melayu seantero dunia..
setiap kali baca surat khabar,ada tiga segmen yang paling aku tak suka nak tengok tapi terpaksa tengok..segmen jenayah, hiburan dan politik..sebabnya ketiga-tiga segmen ini banyak menonjolkan kisah-kisah yang memalukan bangsa Melayu..kadangkala aku berasa segan nak menjamah cerita-cerita sedemikian kerana ianya seakan-akan aku sedang melihat kealpaan diri sendiri..tetapi untuk mengetahui apakah gerangan keadaan orang Melayu masa kini, aku terpaksa menguatkan tekad dan teruskan membaca..maka tersingkaplah satu persatu kisah sedih, pedih dan memalukan anak bangsa Melayu masa kini..
berfokuskan kepada segmen hiburan kali ini, aku memang menyampah kalo tengok gambar-gambar artis Melayu terutamanya perempuan yang ada pada kertas surat khabar itu..belum lagi aku membaca kisah-kisah menarik dan sensasi kononnya berkenaan diri mereka..pada pendapat diri aku yang berkemungkinan jumud ini, cerita seperti itu tiada kaitannya dengan diri aku lantas tak perlulah nak dihebah-hebahkan ke serata negara..publisiti-publisiti seperti inilah yang membuatkan mereka semakin rancak berkecimpung dalam dunia yang dipenuhi maksiat dan dosa itu..kemudian keluarlah pula kata-kata seperti "saya sekadar mencari sumber rezeki yang sah" dan "saya masih sedar batas-batas agama" yang membuatkan aku semakin kagum dengan keberanian mereka memperkatakan kebodohan diri sendiri..bukan niat aku nak mencerca bidang yang mereka ceburi malahan diri mereka yang kerap terpapar di kaca televisyen, majalah dan sebagainya, tetapi mentaliti dan ketidaksedaran diri mereka itu yang membuatkan aku cukup bengang dengan cara hidup mereka.."kalau kau nak sangat hidup macam orang barat, baik kau pergi saja ke sana" antara yang selalu bermain dalam fikiran aku tiapkali aku mendapat berita berkenaan artis-artis ini..
kejayaan terbaru, ASK2008..tahniah kepada pihak yang berkenaan kerana telah mendedahkan kepada rakyat di Malaysia khususnya remaja dan kanak-kanak berkenaan dunia hiburan masa kini..dedahan tersebut banyak mempamerkan aksi-aksi artis yang mendedah kepada masyarakat muda ini..dengan adanya pendedahan seperti ini, maka golongan-golongan muda yang akan menjadi pendokong bangsa di masa akan datang akan menjadi semakin terdedah kepada dunia tersebut..mudah-mudahan mereka juga mampu menandingi kadar dedahan itu apabila mereka semakin mendedahkan diri mereka di kawasan-kawasan awam seluruh ibu kota..siaran seperti inilah yang memberi pendedahan kepada mereka mengenai bahagian-bahagian tubuh badan yang perlu didedahkan untuk menarik perhatian masyarakat..dedahan-dedahan ini mampu menjana lebih banyak lagi gejala sosial yang mampu menjunamkan lagi nilai moral dan ekonomi warganegara Malaysia di masa akan datang..tahniah sekali lagi dan terima kasih daun keladi lain kali dedahlah lagi..
bukan soal aurat yang aku cukup bengangkan tetapi ke'bangang'an pihak-pihak tertentu yang mempamerkan pendedahan artis itu kepada masyarakat negara ini khususnya generasi muda..sikap mengaut suka mengaut keuntungan mudah inilah yang menyumbang kepada kejatuhan nilai moral muda-mudi masa kini..cukup pening aku memikirkan masalah mentaliti masuk dunia hiburan terus tak sedarkan diriini..belum lagi isu 'dunia Melayu' yang selalu disebut-sebut macam gah sangat padahal tak segagah manapun..
apa itu dunia Melayu??mungkin ada rezeki di lain hari aku akan sisipkan disini..pada masa ini, aku sudah lapar sebenarnya..perut mula meminta untuk diisi jadi sampi disini sajalah buat masa ini..
hehehe
^_^

mask

2008-11-05T01:12:00.002+08:00

everyday, I wake up from my slumber, go the bathroom, brush my teeth, wash my face and then back to my room..I start changing into my daily clothes while thinking about this day ahead of me..all the chores waiting for me, all these peoples I need to meet, all the things I need to do..just then, I put on the 'mask'..
this mask is not like the one you can buy in the shop or like anything you saw in a masquarade..this mask is made from a layer of skin which really is my face..this mask can talk, laugh and keep smiling through out the day..it is as lively as any other faces u seen or have yet it is just a mask..
the reason I call it a mask, because it serves that function really well..keeping my real expression hidden underneath it so nobody will notice what my feeling is actually at that time..people will blame me for acting this way..some might even says that I'm being hyphocrite..but I'm not doing this for my own gain..it's for their own good I tell you..I mean people cannot ussualy stand to be asking for help from someone with a bored and gloomy face..they'll feel like they are much inferior to this kind of people if it is them they are asking for a favour from..it's nobody fault..really..it's just the way a human is..
I got a few other masks which I wear when the time needed..a sad mask for a teary occassion, a straight faced mask in a serious event and even an innocent-guilty looking mask which I use when avoiding conflict with others..sometimes I even make a special mask for special circumstances example loving looking during a date, a concern look for an unfortunate event and more..yet, all of them are just used to hide my real, hollow looking face..cause of the intense boredom which I suffered..
other people also have their own mask..I presume this, especially actors, celebrities and politicians must all had a dark side which they can never shown to public..I understand even normal people have to fake their expressions once in a while also..that is a gift which they should not have to begin with..because from there, lies, betrayal, hate, jealousy, greed, gluttony, sloth and pride were born into human..with just a mere hope, they must cling thightly to continue on surviving their brief lifespan..if only they couldn't use this mask, the world would have been an even better place for them..
althought, it will be the same for me..always had been and always to come..

dark soul

2008-10-30T23:29:00.001+08:00

worthless..that's how I really feel about myself right now..no..I think it had been like that for even longer..this is not humility..not even solf-conciousness..it's just the way I am..for a long, long, long time..ever wondered what the point of living??I had like in every waking momment..it's just that..I got lost track of things so easily..things which are supposed to be important..things which will meant the most..things..all sort of things..things I keep ignoring..yeah..ignorant is the most suitable word for me..
right now..I'm nothing more but a lump of flesh and blood waiting for this day to end..or even for my life..I just can't keep up with all this boredom filling up within me..annoying yet nothing I'll do ever statisfying..does that mean I'm too conceited??what does it mean anyway..I just use it because that what came up in me..hah..damn..will I be getting bored to death here..in all my past..all that I can remember is the bored feeling whenever I become familiar with something..be it a sport, games, hobbies whatever..dont even talk about fashion..it didn't last for more than half a day to me..nothing seems to be enough for me..once I learned how to do things..then all that I can see is the times I'll be repeating the same things over and over again..it will always be the same thing from that point onward..nothing ever change after that..all I did was running in circle..not getting anywhere..
how can everybody else be changing yet I'm still the same..frustated..lost interest in things that I do..why can't something be enough for me..anything..I played a hundred games a week yet I never finished more than 1 or two..once I mastered all the element there is in the game then the loop will start..always the same things to do..leveling up..beating the boss..I had to level up to be able to defeat it..yet leveling up is repeating the same thing over and ever again..until at certain level I'll be sure to defeat the last boss of the game..why can't I fight it when I'm still weak and not getting a game over??
heck..I dont even understand what I'm saying here..I lost interest in typing so this is where it'll end..nothing more after this fullstop..

One Final Push..

2008-09-22T19:57:00.003+08:00

One week..just one more work to go for my practical experiences..in this week, I will have a combine observation from both my guidance lecterur and teacher, two full days class to teachs and a few assignment that need to be done..just thinking about them makes me tired..:sigh:..yet I must go on forward even if it mean dragging my sleep time by burning the midnight oils..I don't have much choices left now..so I must push on toward the end of this week..because, when this is all over..it's holiday time for me..
hehehe
^_^

7th-10th day..the compilation >_<

2008-08-31T14:58:00.002+08:00

7th day
more or the less it's the same story with the 6th..the only difference is that I had to teach the children formally since it's my turn to conduct the class..nothing special happened on this day but on the next day..

8th day
Mr Khamizan the next class teacher had to take an mc yet again FOR 2 DAYS..he said maybe he had food poisoning or something and couldn't come to his class..this leave us no choice but to take turn watching over his class while one of us teaching at our actual class..even so, the day when on rather smoothly..those children enjoy themselves greatly during my last lesson when we had a role play activities..they were very excited to take part in the play and couldn't wait to take turn acting..I stayed at the school until late in the afternoon because we(the practical teachers) were asked to lend our hands in the qiraat classes..since they provide us with the lunch so I couldn't complain more..the Main problem is during my way home..suddenly the rain started to pour down heavily soaking me down to the boot..what can I say, I ride a motorcycle to school everyday..luckily I had a poncho(a sort of raincoat I think) in my box provide a small shelter for my things(files, educational aid etc) but my pants and boots were all soaked by the water..my first experience of this kind..hahaha =P

day 9
the class turns into a singing practise because the children had to perform something for the school event the next day..so the children just practise singing and then watched vcd all day long..that's all I think..

the 10th day
first of all, on the way to school a problem occured to my rides..the motorcycle's exhaust pipe CAME OFF!!really, this is not a joke..the exhaust really came off while I was riding..it was a shock when my bike suddenly when BOM BOOM BOOMM like a big bike ussually sounds..but when I think about it later, it was pretty funny actually..all my friends laugh when I shared this experience with them..hahaha ^0^..secondly, the performance didn't go well at all..mostly because of the last minute technical problem we faced..the computer breakdowns, we couldn't find the same song and those kids couldn't sing well since they are not familiar with the songs we used..a true disastruos day..lastly, I had to pay rm60 for a new exhaust pipe..haih T_T

well that is all for this week practical exp..what will happen next, I wonder ?_?

The 6th day..

2008-08-25T22:32:00.002+08:00

the class teacher is still on MC leave..she will not be here until this coming wednesday..haih..this is the 2nd week of my practical experience..the theme for this week is still the same like last week..it's on the National Day..what else will I say about today..hurmm =_=..assembly early this morning was cut short by the pouring rain..I was so sleepy from staying up last night that I had to sleep through the morning classes..then when I woke up, my partner was showing those children some of his video clips of last year 'merdeka' celebration..later, we let them do some works in their excersize books..that's that until the end of the day..another calm day I guess =_=

Friday the 5th

2008-08-15T09:20:00.003+08:00

Another lazy day..both of the homeroom teachers are on mc again..so it's just me and my trusty partner again..luckily the school is having a choir competition for the primary students..I just take advantage of this situation and bring those kids to the venue and enjoy the show..
but they had to get themselves bored and started to make some noise..how annoying..those ungrateful brats..now they are happily watching a movie in the classroom..no problem here..
hehehe
^_^

day 4..GTF-the reborn

2008-08-14T11:54:00.005+08:00

the next door teacher was back..so me and my partner can focus back to the class we're supposed to handle..with one situation out of the frame, I can get back to work on the bigger picture..controlling my chaotic-noisy-annoying-bratty class..1st of all, I get rid of the clingging and hugging since it is sooooooo annoying..everytime one of the children try to hold my hands or try to hug, I quickly brushed them asside..now that I've put on a distance between myself and them, they just linger around me..not so comfy but better than before..maybe I should snarl whenever they come around me..hahaha..just a menacing stare had been fine..still I got the issue of classroom control which greatly hinders the lesson progress..after a few tries & errors, I finally came up with a suitable solution for this matter..it's to get physical with them..nothing a bit of muscle and strenght can't handle..NO, I'm not saying about physical assault or something..I just give them a small physical activity everytime they start to lose their attention to my teaching..I must say that my thesis-making day has given me a lot of ideas on how to came up with spontaneous activities..all I did was give those children a lite activity involving them moving their so they can release their energy which had been building for a while..this works like a charm really..
now my classroom control is much better..plus those brats also enyoy themselves greatly which is also a good thing..now they pay much more attention on what I'm going to do next..kids, they are much too pure and naive..:evil laugh:..they even fell for a simple rise up and down activity..when I get back, I'll be listing all the small work out that I can think of for my future lesson periods..those kids won't know what hit them..wakaka >:)
just in case anyone is still wondering what the GTF is all about, I'll tell you now..but I should had pity all of those who are so lame and slow if I had any heart at all..GT stands for Great Teacher..the F is my name but I wont be telling that to you guys..ciao
hehehe
^_^
(p/s- for those who is planning to become a teacher him/herself, don't do this to your pupils and students..it'll hurt your consceince badly >:P)

Practical..day 3 +_+

2008-08-13T14:26:00.005+08:00

both of the homeroom teacher are out today..so my partner and I had both classes to ourselves..I'll talk about my class experience then..it was like 40% in control and the rest was totally out of control..the children was talking among themselves while I was teaching which occassionally end with me walking to their side and bring one of them to the front so they can't talk with each other then..and there were also some kids playing at the back which boiled my blood..when I raise up my voice they all keep quite for a while before start playing again..it was so noisy in my class..almost chaotic I think..I wonder if I'm not fierce enough..I had already hid all of my smiley and cheery faces all the times here along with my emotion..my face shown no expression while my stares are all glaciery cold..I never showed them much of an attention but they sure keep coming to hold my hands and giving me a hug every now and then..how can they still be attracted to me now..what wrong with kids nowaday..they are supposed to be unfamiliar with me and I should have been hard to approach by them..this is totally wierd..
I'm sure that girls will feel agitated when I give them the cold shoulder..since I'm not the fairy-tales-prince type of a guy..this make them feel the attraction towards me..but I'm talking about
6 year olds preschool children..they are supposed to feel afraid of stranger..the uneasiness is what I aim to sow into their heart..after all, that is what I am to them right now..but heck no, they just keep coming for me..kids nowaday sure are strange..totally..but I'm not going to be defeated by the like of them..I'll make them obey me..in time..
huhuhu
T_T

the call..

2008-08-13T14:00:00.004+08:00

it was late that evening, when my friends and I just came back after having dinner at the outside and we were just going to eat some ice cream for desert..then a friend of mine recieved a call..an urgent distress call..we quickly grab our gear which we had put down earlier and after a short discussion two of us decide to answer that call of help..one was me, and the other one was db aka the white knight..and so, us two rushed to our trusty motocycles and rode like the wind with the intention of saving the damsel in distress..when we arrive at the scene..
to be continued..

The thing with astrology is..

2008-08-07T07:54:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I really wonder..is there really such thing as a lucky star??do our stars really affect our life??will I be like this because I'm born under a certain star??can I really let my constellation guide me through my life??what is this astrology actually and what so great about it??
what is astrology??well according to wikipedia "Astrology (from Greek ἄστρον, astron, "constellation, star"; and -λογία, -logia) is a group of systems, traditions, and beliefs in which knowledge of the apparent relative positions of celestial bodies and related details is held to be useful in understanding, interpreting, and organizing information about personality, human affairs, and other terrestrial matters. A practitioner of astrology is called an astrologer or an astrologist. Numerous traditions and applications employing astrological concepts have arisen since its earliest recorded beginnings in the 3rd millennium BC. It has played a role in the shaping of culture, early astronomy, and other disciplines throughout history..." and yada yada yada..so in a word, the star give you tips on how to live..can you believe that??all the massive, luminious, lifeless plasma balls giving you signs concerning your attitude, prosperity, love and so on..hell yeah..they actually know you better than your parent, siblings, relatives and friends..how very convenient that is..they will give you guidence and help you through out your live..hahaha..owh come on..even they doesn't have a clue how long they'll be shining in the outer space until their gases diminished..
no offence to all the past star gazers and astrologists, but the only thing the star is good at is pointing the way for ships and travelers which is lost and doesn't have a compass or gprs system at the time..they are usefull there..I give them that..but pointing the ways for me to live my life..that's all so ridiculous..here something about Aries since that is what I'm born under..
"The sign of the Ram is graced by the element of Fire, and if you were to use one word to describe Aries, it could easily be heat. People born under this sign have a passion and red-hot energy, which often proves irresistible. It's certainly never boring! Aries likes to initiate relationships, and the role of seducer comes to them easily. This sizzling romance dance will only work on those strong enough to stay in the game, because Aries wants a partner who can go toe-to-toe with them, whether it's over lunch or under the covers. Aries likes to get its way and often pits the wishes of self against what is best for the partnership, which can lead to conflict. These battles, though, are often foreplay, which can result in some sexy fireworks of their own. The Ram is possessed of a great physicality, a sense of adventure, is wildly flirtatious and loves to play."
well what do you know..I'm a seducer..how I never noticed that in me..hahaha..maybe I'm actually an incubus under a human skin..hahaha..trust me..I'm not a charmer..and not ever going into seducing unless I became a vampire or whatever..
which make me come into a conclusion..this is all crackpot..don't bother me with it..the reason I talk about this is I always got invite and spam concerning love compatibility, life secret and all the other nonesense..how stupid do they think I am to buy into all their stories and lies..so whoever had the idea of coming to see me regarding all this stuff, be prepare..an early precaution..

Things I had miss the most T_T

2008-08-03T19:52:00.006+08:00

1- Ragnarok Online

An online which I had been playing since in the matriculation..one of the best reason why I almost failed during that time..hahaha..ragnarok online or ro has been an enjoyable game where I meet a lot of people and gain some income(hehe ^^)..but now due the connection problems, I haven't been online for quite a period..I don't know wether I'll be able to continue playing or not so I'm missing it badly..huhuhu T_T

2- Old nakamas

Nakamas are friends or buddies in japanese..these guys are from the PISMK batch(which is I'm in right now) back when we were at IPBA earlier..some are still with me now so I don't miss them but to those who had been transfered far, far away..I miss you guys..take care okay

3- my classmate in secondary school

we are only together for like 2 years but hey, they are like family to me..

4- Dancing

I may not look like it now, but I used to be dancing back in the old days..I wouldn't say that I'm that good but I can dance at least..I don't see myself doing it anytime in the future but the memories are my precious treasure..the musics, the rhythms, the steps, choreograph, the sensation are all so hard for me to let go off(not forgetting the cute dancers and madam hehe)..I just wish......

anyway, these are some of things that I've been missing these past few years..as for other thing like my family, I don't really miss them because I can always think of them and then give em a call..hahaha..somethings are better left the way it is for now..
hehehe
^_^

A Day at the PIKOM PC FAIR 2008

2008-08-03T10:54:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, I went to the annual PIKOM Pc Fair at KLCC to accompany some of my fellow friends and hoping to catch a glimpse of the new gadgets and technos there(and to get all the freebies ^^)hehehe..my group was at the site for almost 3 hours looking and trying to find the stuffs that we want to buy..man, it was crowded in there which is as ussual..a lot of people confined in the halls making it hard for us to move around freely..it was very packed I tell you..for those who have been there before, you'll get the ideas..the same sight each year, a lot of people in a closed room with 1 way traffic..maybe they should take it outside and do it in the open for a change..hahaha..my friends bought thumbdrives, memory card, digital camera and some printer's ink..myself, I don't buy anything..just taking all the free things that I could get especially goodies bags..hehehe..actually I can get all the gadgets at Low Yat Plaza with almost the same prices, so it was the goodies bag that I was after there..hahaha..I had some great time at the PC Fair..bdw, today is the last day for the fair and it will be much packed than yesterday..I hope no one will get hurt in the commotion..it's a jungle out there..
hehehe
^_^