Monday, May 31, 2010

Attention-Seeking Personality Disorders..

I was out surfing the net as usual..with nothing much to do I'm getting near the limit of my boredom tolerances..still I keep on surfing with out any specific goals in mind..then a thought pop out into my mind..and when I became aware of that what that thought could have meant, I started to Google up information regarding this topic I'm typing..I seek to better understand myself, so I can stay in control most of the time..yet, there is always seems to be some part of me that I didn't familiar with or even realize it's there..most people doesn't even know themselves as much as they think they do..enough then..
Attention-seeking personality disorder is most common among woman..but that doesn't mean that a guy couldn't be suffering from the same disorder..after all, human being is a social creatures which need to attain approval and self-gratification through the mean of interaction..the feedback they got will then ascertain whether they felt validated or not..a person with matured emotional intelligence will have no need to go all out for this since they'll find it in everyday life cycle..but, when the person emotion is not yet matured sent loose into the outside world, he/she will felt insecure, have low self-esteem and almost no visible self-confidence at all..these people will then be tempted to conspirate(just like the sound of this) a situation where they can gain the attention and gratification which they need the most..according to an online reference  "insecure and emotionally immature people often exhibit bullying behaviours, especially manipulation and deception"..there are also several channels or methods used practically by almost everyone to seek attention according to ..these methods includes the perpetrator playing a roles in which described below :

  • The sufferer: this might include feigning or exaggerating illness, playing on an injury, or perhaps causing or inviting injury, in extreme cases going as far as losing a limb. Severe cases may meet the diagnostic criteria for Munchausen Syndrome (also know as Factitious Disorder). The illness or injury becomes a vehicle for gaining sympathy and thus attention. The attention-seeker excels in manipulating people through their emotions, especially that of guilt. It's very difficult not to feel sorry for someone who relates a plausible tale of suffering in a sob story or "poor me" drama.
  • The saviour: in attention-seeking personality disorders like Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy (MSBP, also known as Factitious Disorder By Proxy) the person, usually female, creates opportunities to be centre of attention by intentionally causing harm to others and then being their saviour, by saving their life, and by being such a caring, compassionate person. Few people realise the injury was deliberate. The MSBP mother or nurse may kill several babies before suspicions are aroused. When not in saviour mode, the saviour may be resentful, perhaps even contemptuous, of the person or persons she is saving.
  • The rescuer: particularly common in family situations, she's the one who will dash in and "rescue" people whenever the moment is opportune - to herself, that is. She then gains gratification from basking in the glory of her humanitarian actions. She will prey on any person suffering misfortune, infirmity, illness, injury, or anyone who has a vulnerability. The act of rescue and thus the opportunities for gaining attention can be enhanced if others are excluded from the act of rescue; this helps create a dependency relationship between the rescuer and rescued which can be exploited for further acts of rescue (and attention) later. When not in rescue mode, the rescuer may be resentful, perhaps even contemptuous, of the person she is rescuing.
  • The organiser: she may present herself as the one in charge, the one organising everything, the one who is reliable and dependable, the one people can always turn to. However, the objective is not to help people (this is only a means to an end) but to always be the centre of attention.
  • The manipulator: she may exploit family relationships, manipulating others with guilt and distorting perceptions; although she may not harm people physically, she causes everyone to suffer emotional injury. Vulnerable family members are favourite targets. A common attention-seeking ploy is to claim she is being persecuted, victimised, excluded, isolated or ignored by another family member or group, perhaps insisting she is the target of a campaign of exclusion or harassment.
  • The mind-poisoner: adept at poisoning peoples' minds by manipulating their perceptions of others, especially against the current target.
  • The drama queen: every incident or opportunity, no matter how insignificant, is exploited, exaggerated and if necessary distorted to become an event of dramatic proportions. Everything is elevated to crisis proportions. Histrionics may be present where the person feels she is not the centre of attention but should be. Inappropriate flirtatious behaviour may also be present.
  • The busy bee: this individual is the busiest person in the world if her constant retelling of her life is to be believed. Everyday events which are regarded as normal by normal people take on epic proportions as everyone is invited to simultaneously admire and commiserate with this oh-so-busy person who never has a moment to herself, never has time to sit down, etc. She's never too busy, though, to tell you how busy she is.
  • The feigner: when called to account and outwitted, the person instinctively uses the denial - counterattack - feigning victimhood strategy to manipulate everyone present, especially bystanders and those in authority. The most effective method of feigning victimhood is to burst into tears, for most people's instinct is to feel sorry for them, to put their arm round them or offer them a tissue. There's little more plausible than real tears, although as actresses know, it's possible to turn these on at will. Feigners are adept at using crocodile tears. From years of practice, attention-seekers often give an Oscar-winning performance in this respect. Feigning victimhood is a favourite tactic of bullies and harassers to evade accountability and sanction. When accused of bullying and harassment, the person immediately turns on the water works and claims they are the one being bullied or harassed - even though there's been no prior mention of being bullied or harassed. It's the fact that this claim appears only after and in response to having been called to account that is revealing. Mature adults do not burst into tears when held accountable for their actions.
  • The false confessor: this person confesses to crimes they haven't committed in order to gain attention from the police and the media. In some cases people have confessed to being serial killers, even though they cannot provide any substantive evidence of their crimes. Often they will confess to crimes which have just been reported in the media. Some individuals are know to the police as serial confessors. The false confessor is different from a person who make a false confession and admits to a crime of which they are accused because of emotional pressure and inappropriate interrogation tactics.
  • The abused: a person claims they are the victim of abuse, sexual abuse, rape etc as a way of gaining attention for themselves. Crimes like abuse and rape are difficult to prove at the best of times and their incidence is so common that it is easy to make a plausible claim as a way of gaining attention.
  • The online victim: this person uses Internet chat rooms and forums to allege that they've been the victim of rape, violence, harassment, abuse etc. The alleged crime is never reported to the authorities, for obvious reasons. The facelessness and anonymity of the Internet suits this type of attention seeker.
  • The victim: she may intentionally create acts of harassment against herself, eg send herself hate mail or damage her own possessions in an attempt to incriminate a fellow employee, a family member, neighbour, etc. Scheming, cunning, devious, deceptive and manipulative, she will identify her "harasser" and produce circumstantial evidence in support of her claim. She will revel in the attention she gains and use her glib charm to plausibly dismiss any suggestion that she herself may be responsible. However, a background check may reveal that this is not the first time she has had this happen to her.

Yeah..I was surprised when I learned there was this much things going on without I even knowing more than half of, you may never know that you might actually suffering from this kind of personality disorder..take a good look within yourself..get a mirror or even better a close friend to ascertain for you..hahaha..what about me??I'm in a whole different degree..ever heard of narcissist??it's not in the family of narcotic..Narcissist are sufferers from  Narcissistic Personality Disorder..characterised by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity and self-importance, need for admiration, and lack of empathy, people with narcissistic personality disorder overestimate their abilities and inflate their accomplishments, often appearing boastful and pretentious, whilst correspondingly underestimating and devaluing the achievements and accomplishments of others..sounds familiar??heh..since we are here already, I'll tell you a bit about this awesome personality I happen to have..according to the DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder are a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, lack of empathy, as indicated by at least five of:

1. a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement, ie unreasonable expectations of especially favourable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
6. is interpersonally exploitative, ie takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
7. lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
8. is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes

charming aren't they..I have 1,2 and 9 with a couple more which didn't stand out much..fortunately I don't have the need of envying, admiration or even maybe I'm not so much of a narcissist but something even more..then again, saying that itself is narcissistical(actually not a word)..I left you guys to ponder on your own then..good luck finding the real you..hehe ^^

Sunday, May 30, 2010



Below is my newest post in Preschool Troopers blogsite..just that I think it'll be a great addition to my post list here c&p for a long time after all..

"Sahaja aku meletakkan post ini..sudah hampir setengah tahun kita menjadi guru sebenar..bagaimana perasaan rakan-rakan yang lain??aku masih kadang2 keliru dihambat kemalasan dan rasa ingin berseronok dengan tanggungjawab dan juga idealisme aku sendiri..saban kali aku bangun di awal pagi dan terus berfikir "Malasnye rase nak pegi sekolah arie nie.."..dan ianya tidak berhenti di situ sahaja..sambil aku bersiap, membersihkan diri, menyarungkan baju hinggalah aku melangkah keluar dari rumah pertanyaan demi pertanyaan seperti itu menyebu benakku..aku kira aku masih lagi belum memperoleh kembali sifat ikhlas dalam melakukan sesuatu..atau mungkin keikhlasan sudah hilang sama sekali akibat sedemikian lama diketepikan..tetapi, aku masih lagi mengheret diriku setiap hari ke bangunan sekolah dan mengajar anak-anak kecil itu dengan sedaya yang aku mampu..aku tidak membenci pekerjaan ini..malah inilah yang aku cita-citakan semenjak kecil..aku gembira bergaul dengan murid-muridku, melihat mereka membuat kerja yang ku beri, membuka minda mereka terhadap perkara2 baru dan hanya duduk memantau tingkahlaku mereka dengan asyik dan penuh perhatian..malam hari pula aku merancang tekun proses p&p yang bakal aku jalankan pula pada keesokan harinya..berhempas-pulas aku memerah idea agar aktiviti-aktiviti yang aku rancangkan itu mempunyai kesinambungan dan dapat memberi pengetahuan baru kepada semua kanak-kanak itu..jadi mengapa wujudnya pemikiran yang negatif itu setiap kali aku bangun dari tidur dengan penuh kesegaran dan kesediaan menempuh satu hari yang baru??hubungan aku dengan rakan sekerja, pihak pentadbiran malah anggota-anggota bukan guru juga tidak menemui sebarang masalah yang boleh mengundang rasa tidak selesa dalam menjalankan tugas..tetapi mengapa kemalasan itu masih wujud sehingga kini??apakah itu semua hasutan iblis laknatullah yang ingin menggagalkan usaha aku mendidik anak Adam??atau itu semua datangnya dari keinginan aku sendiri yang aku pendamkan sedalam-dalamnya..aku kurang pasti..bagaimana pula dengan rakan-rakan??wujudkah kelemahan seperti ini dalam diri kamu semua??kalau ada, secepatnya perbetulkanlah niat anda untuk bekerja..mudah-mudahan pekerjaan yang diusahakan itu menjadi ibadat yang memberatkan timbangan anda di akhirat kelak..wallahualam.."

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Bad Luck..

I lost my NEW wireless broadband's the saddest thing that ever happen to me this's how it happen..there was a blackout in the office yesterday..luckily I was using my battery so I keep on doing what I do..after an hour or so my battery was almost depleted and the electricity still hasn't come I decided to unplug my broadband device and put my computer to sleep..I remembered putting the device into my pocket before I went to the couch to take a quick nap while waiting for the power come back never did and rain was pouring after a few hours waiting, me and my friend decided to go back since it's getting late anyway..I packed all my belonging and went home with him..on the way back we stopped for tea at the usual place..while we was there the power came back..I was happy since I thought I can get back online after we reach home..then we take our leave and went straight back to our was then I realized that my broadband wasn't in my pocket anymore..I searched all over for that thing..after leaving not a single unturned, I accept the fact that it had mysteriously gone..haih..I only had it for less than a week..I fell very devastated at the moment..sigh T_T
p/s-I'm going to apply for a new 1 if it didn't show up in the near future ^^

Thursday, May 27, 2010

School Holiday..again XD

the most awaited time for all pupils and teachers alike is finally here..why I included teacher there..honestly even I was excited about holiday ever since I was a kid..there was so much installed for me during that time..reminiscing about the past, holiday hold a lot of fond memories..childhood friends, early discoveries, adventures that opened my eyes, those dreams I used to have and so many all seems so far away now..heh..but the most interesting thought will be how I used to be back then and how I've changed in time..I'm significantly a different man than the boy I had in mind..haih..let's keep this for some other time then..those time when I was still ignorant and somewhat innocent..haha..what important is now's yet another time to indulges myself with adventures, discoveries and a different kind of all my colleague and friends:
"HAPPY HOLIDAY, Enjoy yourselves while you can" 
my student still can't read, most of them..and I find the thought of them reading it here is somewhat impossible so I don't have any wish for them here..tough luck twerps..haha ^^

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Upcoming Disaster?!

school holiday is starting again..real soon, I'll be back to see my parents, siblings, cousins and etc..are they the source of the disaster u ask??no..of course not..I may be cold and heartless but I never detest my family ever..we share the most similar bloodline after all..the holiday is the cause then??haha..silly..who wouldn't love to have some free times to spend..unless you have a serious case of workaholic that is..good luck surviving the holidays to you I I said earlier, holiday is the time for me to meet my catch up on what's happening to everybody..not that I care too much though..still, it'll do me good to have a stabilize relationship between the family members..I don't think anyone can disagree with what the hell is the disaster about!?well..I just learned that a group of people from JPN Sabah is coming to our district right after the holiday..yes, they are going to observe, supervise and visit each school in this area during their one week of lovely is that..and to add up the joy..a new program called D'1 is being put into action as I'm typing now which also involved us soon after the holiday..hurray..nice huh..ah well..that's all for the disaster report this sure to tune in for any new informations regarding fun-filled, disastrous activities happening around me..until next time..I'm out..

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

New Addiction ^^

for those who knew me well enough, they'll  know that I'm an addict..not drug addicted..I'm a game addict..let just say I love to play games..I played a whole range types of games..shooting, strategy, rpg, sims, fighting..and my most favourtite genre would be fantasy-rpg..almost every game I love involved with this theme..they fit my imagination thirst like a well made statisfying..hehe..a couple of years back, I got involved with mmorpg..for those who are not familiar with that term, feel free to look it up in wikipedia or something..back to my story, it was love at first sight the moment I found out about the beta testing for Ragnarok Online 7 years, I was stuck to it like a bee to honey..just couldn't get enough of it..I can say honestly my reason to suck up my matriculation exam was being ADDICTED to RO back then..those sweet memories..and I was still playing it until last year..tried every job classes that game have to offered and when I reached the pinnacle of my passion, I started to hunt for a new thing to indulge to..and this year..I found a new thing to be addicted to..that is DRAGONICA, I want to spread this new found enjoyment to all my colleague and friend..just like another friend of mine hook me up to this..haha..this game is easy to play, have cute graphic, many gamers from our country is into it including me, the emotion system is hilarious, have a relationship system(if u find this interesting), a convenient buddy list, and so much if u decide to find something to help take your stress away, I prescript this as a healthy substitute from's the homepage in case anyone is interested..

and here are some eye candies from the game..

if you are in..feel free to pm me..if I'm around at that time, I'll be sure to meet up with you..see you guys ^^

Re-energized ^^

I got myself a new broadband..since the coverage of my previous maxis broadband is really poor here, I bought a new celcom provided broadband to satisfy my need for last I can be onlining to the max..hurray for me!!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

A Long Slumber..

Being without internet connection for 2 month, really made my life seems a little bleak..I can't play online games, download new manganimes, no chatting and of course no updates what-so-ever..sigh..boredom is like a shadow which never leave..wonder how long I can last by faking ignorance and self-realism..

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